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Woody Allen Net Worth, Biography, Wiki in 2017-2016

How rich is Woody Allen?

Woody Allen net worth:
$70 Million

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Woody Allen Net Worth, Biography, Wiki 2017-2016

Allan Stewart Konigsberg was born on 1 December 1935, in The Bronx, New York City USA, of Ashkenazi Jewish from Russian and Austrian descent. As Woody Allen, he is known as one of the greatest directors, actors and comedians of all time. In addition to this, he is also known as a writer. Woody is particularly known for directing such movies as “Annie Hall”, “Midnight in Paris”, “Manhattan”, “Hannah and Her Sisters” and many others. Woody’s talent is acclaimed by critics and others in the industry. There is no surprise that a man of such great talent has been nominated for and has won numerous honorable awards. Some of them include Academy Award, Golden Globe Award, BAFTA Award, Primetime Emmy Award, and American Comedy Award. Despite the fact that Woody is now 79 years old and that he has been working for more than 50 years, he still has many ideas and is working on new projects.

So how rich is Woody Allen? Sources estimate that Woody’s net worth is $70 million. He has mainly gained this sum of money through his successfully directed movies, but undoubtedly, his other activities have also been very effective and have added a lot to his net worth. Clearly, Woody is a person of many talents and in every sphere he tries to achieve the ultimate. Woody’s fans are waiting for him produce new projects and will definitely support him in his endeavours.

Woody Allen Net Worth $70 Million

Woody Allen attended Midwood High School and was interested in various activities, from sports to magic tricks. While still very young, Woody started writing jokes for agents, who later on-sold them to various newspapers. Later Allen continued his studies at New York University, where he majored in communication and film. In 1955 Woody received an invitation to join the “NBC Writer’s Development Program”. Soon after, he started working as a writer for Herb Shriner. Step by step Woody Allen’s net worth became higher.

Woody received various invitations to write scripts for shows, many of which he accepted, and in this way became well-known in the industry. He worked on such shows as “The Tonight Show”, “The Pat Boone Sow”, “The Ed Sullivan Show” and others. In addition to writing for these shows, Allen also worked as a stand-up comedian, which also added to Woody’s net worth, and soon Woody became one of the most acclaimed comedians. In 1966 Woody began writing various plays, including “Don’t Drink the Water”, “Play It Again, Sam”, “The Floating Light Bulb” and others. The success of these plays had a huge impact on the growth of Allen’s net worth.

As mentioned, Woody Allen has been successful in many spheres, and the movie industry is no exception. The first movie on which he worked as a director was “What’s Up, Tiger Lily?”. In 1969 he directed and acted in the movie entitled “Take the Money and Run”, which added a lot to Woody’s net worth. Other movies that Allen worked on include “Sleeper”, “The Front”, “Love and death”, “Bananas”, “Interiors” and many others. The list goes on and on, which is why there is no doubt that Woody Allen is one of the best directors and actors of all time. Recently Allen has been working on a new television show, and the movie entitled “Irrational Man”. There is no doubt that they will become popular and will only make Allen’s net worth higher.

To talk about Woody Allen’s personal life, it can be said that it has been somewhat confusing and intriguing. He has married three times, firstly to Harlene Rosen,(1954-59), secondly to Louise Lasser,(1966-70), and thirdly to Soon-Yi Previn – Farrow’s adopted daughter – in 1997 and they live together until now. Woody also had a much-publicised relationship with Mia Farrow(1980-92), during which they never formally lived together, but nonetheless had one child and adopted two children. Relationships with Diane Keaton and Stacey Nelkin were also well reported. All in all, Woody Allen is an extraordinary and hardworking personality. His talent is acclaimed all over the world and almost all of his works received success. There is no doubt that his work will be remembered even after he decides to end his career and no one can forget a man of such talent. Hopefully, he will continue is career for as long as he can.


More about Woody Allen:

  • Filmography
  • Awards
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Writer

Writer

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Untitled Woody Allen Project 2016 pre-production
Untitled Woody Allen Project TV Series created by - 6 episodes, 2016 written by - 6 episodes, 2016 announced
Irrational Man 2015 written by
Magic in the Moonlight 2014 written by
Blue Jasmine 2013 written by
To Rome with Love 2012 written by
Vidurnaktis Paryziuje 2011 written by
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger 2010 written by
Sdelka 2009 Short play
Whatever Works 2009 written by
Viki, Kristina, Barselona 2008 written by
Cassandra's Dream 2007 written by
Scoop 2006 written by
Match Point 2005 written by
Melinda and Melinda 2004 written by
Anything Else 2003 written by
Hollywood Ending 2002 written by
Sounds from a Town I Love 2001 TV Short
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion 2001 written by
Small Time Crooks 2000 written by
Sweet and Lowdown 1999 written by
Celebrity 1998 written by
Count Mercury Goes to the Suburbs 1997 Short story "Count Dracula"
Deconstructing Harry 1997 written by
Everyone Says I Love You 1996 written by
Mighty Aphrodite 1995 written by
Une aspirine pour deux 1995 TV Movie play
Don't Drink the Water 1994 TV Movie play / teleplay
Bullets Over Broadway 1994 written by
Manhattan Murder Mystery 1993 written by
Husbands and Wives 1992 written by
Shadows and Fog 1991 written by
Alice 1990 written by
Somebody or The Rise and Fall of Philosophy 1989 Short story "Mr Big"
Crimes and Misdemeanors 1989 written by
New York Stories 1989 written by - segment "Oedipus Wrecks"
Another Woman 1988 written by
September 1987 written by
Radio Days 1987 written by
Meeting Woody Allen 1986 Documentary short
Hannah and Her Sisters 1986 written by
The Purple Rose of Cairo 1985 written by
Broadway Danny Rose 1984 written by
Zelig 1983 written by
A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy 1982 written by
The Subtil Concept 1981 Short story "Mr Big"
Stardust Memories 1980 written by
Manhattan 1979 written by
Interiors 1978 written by
Annie Hall 1977 written by
Love and Death 1975 written by
Sleeper 1973 written by
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 1972 written for the screen by
Play It Again, Sam 1972 based on the play by / screenplay
Men of Crisis: The Harvey Wallinger Story 1971 TV Short
Bananas 1971 written by
Pussycat, Pussycat, I Love You 1970 screenplay "What's New, Pussycat?"
Don't Drink the Water 1969 play / screenplay
The Woody Allen Special 1969 TV Special documentary writer
Take the Money and Run 1969 original screenplay
The Kraft Music Hall 1967 TV Series Woody Allen's material - 1 episode
Casino Royale 1967 uncredited
The World: Color It Happy 1967 TV Movie written by
What's Up, Tiger Lily? 1966
Gene Kelly in New York, New York 1966 TV Movie
What's New Pussycat 1965 original screenplay
The Sid Caesar Show 1963 TV Series uncredited
The Laughmakers 1962 TV Short
The Garry Moore Show 1961 TV Series 1 episode
Candid Camera 1960/I TV Series
General Electric Theater 1960 TV Series 1 episode
Hooray for Love 1960 TV Movie
At the Movies 1959 TV Movie
The Sid Caesar Show 1958 TV Movie writer
Stanley 1956 TV Series
The Colgate Comedy Hour 1950 TV Series uncredited

Director

Director

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Irrational Man 2015
Magic in the Moonlight 2014
Blue Jasmine 2013
To Rome with Love 2012
Vidurnaktis Paryziuje 2011
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger 2010
Whatever Works 2009
Viki, Kristina, Barselona 2008
Cassandra's Dream 2007
Scoop 2006
Match Point 2005
Melinda and Melinda 2004
Anything Else 2003
Hollywood Ending 2002
Sounds from a Town I Love 2001 TV Short
The Concert for New York City 2001 TV Special documentary segment "Sounds from the Town I Love"
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion 2001
Small Time Crooks 2000
Sweet and Lowdown 1999
Celebrity 1998
Deconstructing Harry 1997
Everyone Says I Love You 1996
Mighty Aphrodite 1995
Don't Drink the Water 1994 TV Movie
Bullets Over Broadway 1994
Manhattan Murder Mystery 1993
Husbands and Wives 1992
Shadows and Fog 1991
Alice 1990
Crimes and Misdemeanors 1989
New York Stories 1989 segment "Oedipus Wrecks"
Another Woman 1988
September 1987
Radio Days 1987
Hannah and Her Sisters 1986
The Purple Rose of Cairo 1985
Broadway Danny Rose 1984
Zelig 1983
A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy 1982
Stardust Memories 1980
Manhattan 1979
Interiors 1978
Annie Hall 1977
Love and Death 1975
Sleeper 1973
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 1972
Men of Crisis: The Harvey Wallinger Story 1971 TV Short
Bananas 1971
Take the Money and Run 1969
What's Up, Tiger Lily? 1966
Untitled Woody Allen Project 2016 pre-production
Untitled Woody Allen Project 2016 TV Series 6 episodes announced

Actor

Actor

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Barcelona, la rosa de foc 2014 English version, voice
Fading Gigolo 2013 Murray
To Rome with Love 2012 Jerry
Paris-Manhattan 2012 Woody Allen (uncredited)
Scoop 2006 Sid Waterman
Anything Else 2003 David Dobel
Hollywood Ending 2002 Val
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion 2001 CW Briggs
Picking Up the Pieces 2000 Tex Cowley
Small Time Crooks 2000 Ray
Company Man 2000 Lowther (uncredited)
Antz 1998 Z (voice)
The Impostors 1998 Audition Director (uncredited)
Deconstructing Harry 1997 Harry Block
Everyone Says I Love You 1996 Joe
The Sunshine Boys 1996 TV Movie Al Lewis
Mighty Aphrodite 1995 Lenny
Don't Drink the Water 1994 TV Movie Walter Hollander
Manhattan Murder Mystery 1993 Larry Lipton
Husbands and Wives 1992 Gabe Roth
Shadows and Fog 1991 Kleinman
Scenes from a Mall 1991 Nick Fifer
Crimes and Misdemeanors 1989 Cliff Stern
New York Stories 1989 Sheldon (segment "Oedipus Wrecks")
King Lear 1987 Mr. Alien (uncredited)
Radio Days 1987 The Narrator (voice, uncredited)
Hannah and Her Sisters 1986 Mickey
Broadway Danny Rose 1984 Danny Rose
Zelig 1983 Leonard Zelig
A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy 1982 Andrew
Stardust Memories 1980 Sandy Bates
Manhattan 1979 Isaac
Annie Hall 1977 Alvy Singer
The Front 1976 Howard Prince
Love and Death 1975 Boris
Sleeper 1973 Miles Monroe
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 1972 Victor / Fabrizio / The Fool / ...
Play It Again, Sam 1972 Allan
Men of Crisis: The Harvey Wallinger Story 1971 TV Short Harvey Wallinger
Bananas 1971 Fielding Mellish
Hot Dog 1970 TV Series Regular (1970-71)
Take the Money and Run 1969 Virgil Starkwell
Casino Royale 1967 Jimmy Bond (Dr. Noah)
The World: Color It Happy 1967 TV Movie
What's New Pussycat 1965 Victor

Soundtrack

Soundtrack

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Montreal Writer 2002 Documentary short "Last Night on My Back Porch"
Antz 1998 performer: "Almost Like Being in Love"
Deconstructing Harry 1997 performer: "When the Red Red Robin Comes Bob Bob Bobbin' Along" 1926
Everyone Says I Love You 1996 performer: "I'm Thru With Love" 1931
Sleeper 1973 performer: "Till We Meet Again" 1918 - uncredited
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 1972 performer: "Red River Valley" pub. 1896 - uncredited

Composer

Composer

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Sleeper 1973 music by

Music Department

Music Department

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Wild Man Blues 1997 Documentary musician: clarinet

Producer

Producer

TitleYearStatusCharacter
What's Up, Tiger Lily? 1966 associate producer

Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous

TitleYearStatusCharacter
The Sorrow and the Pity 1969 Documentary presenter - 2000 version

Thanks

Thanks

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Teacher of the Year 2014 grateful thanks
Edén 2014 special thanks
A Saturday Is a Terrible Thing to Waste 2013 Short thanks
Amelia, I Love You 2013 Short special thanks
Louis C.K. Oh My God 2013 TV Special thank you
Subaru 2013 Short thanks
Christ Complex 2012 special thanks
Plus or Minus (+/-) 2012 Short special thanks
Woody Before Allen 2011 Documentary short special thanks
The Quincy Rose Show 2011 Short special thanks
The Alumni Chapter 2011 special thanks
Decathexis 2010 Short grateful acknowledgment
Variations on a High School Romance 2010 inspirational thanks
Explicit Ills 2008 special thanks
Love and Mary 2007 special thanks
Home 2006/III Documentary very special thanks
Paris, je t'aime 2006 thanks
The Devil and Daniel Johnston 2005 Documentary thanks
Burning Annie 2004 grateful acknowledgment
AFI's 100 Years... 100 Passions: America's Greatest Love Stories 2002 TV Special documentary thanks
The Man Who Never Had a Girlfriend 2001 TV Movie documentary inspired by
Anita Takes a Chance 2001 grateful acknowledgment
Beyond the Mat 1999 Documentary personal thanks
Judy Berlin 1999 thanks
After Eight 1998 Short special thanks
Crossing the Bridge 1992 thanks
Ucieczka z kina 'Wolnosc' 1990 acknowledgment

Self

Self

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Les nouveaux rendez-vous 1980 TV Series Himself
Question de temps: Une heure avec Woody Allen 1979 TV Movie Himself
Escenari 1979 TV Series Himself
Bitte umblättern 1978 TV Series documentary Himself
The South Bank Show 1978 TV Series documentary Himself - Interviewee
Hollywood's Diamond Jubilee 1978 TV Movie Himself - Interview
Up Close 1978 TV Series Himself
V.I.P.-Schaukel 1977 TV Series documentary Himself
Arena 1977 TV Series documentary Himself - Interviewee
The Making of 'The Front' 1976 TV Movie documentary Himself
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson 1963-1972 TV Series Himself / Himself - Guest Host / Himself - Guest
The Dick Cavett Show 1969-1971 TV Series Himself
Cinema 1971 TV Series documentary Himself - Interviewee
The David Frost Show 1969-1971 TV Series Himself
Plimpton! Did You Hear the One About? 1971 TV Movie documentary Himself
Fight of the Century 1971 TV Movie Himself - Audience Member
Hot Dog 1970 TV Series Himself
Frost on Sunday 1970 TV Series Himself
The Joe Namath Show 1969 TV Series Himself
The Ed Sullivan Show 1965-1969 TV Series Himself / Himself - Comedian
The Woody Allen Special 1969 TV Special documentary Himself / Various
The Merv Griffin Show 1962-1969 TV Series Himself / Himself - Guest
The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour 1968 TV Series Himself
The Kraft Music Hall 1967 TV Series Himself - Host
The First Annual All Star-Celebrity Softball Game 1967 TV Movie Himself - Player
The Dean Martin Show 1967 TV Series Himself
What's My Line? 1963-1967 TV Series Himself - Guest Panelist / Himself - Mystery Guest
Our Place 1967 TV Series Himself - Guest
I've Got a Secret 1964-1967 TV Series Himself / Himself - Guest Panelist
Gypsy 1966 TV Series Himself
What's Up, Tiger Lily? 1966 Himself / Dub Voice / Projectionist
Hippodrome 1966 TV Series Himself - Host / Himself - Host (show 3)
Dusty 1966 TV Series Himself - Special Guest
The Eamonn Andrews Show 1964-1966 TV Series Himself
Gene Kelly in New York, New York 1966 TV Movie Himself
The Andy Williams Show 1965 TV Series Himself
Password All-Stars 1965 TV Series Himself
The Best on Record 1965 TV Special Himself
Hullabaloo 1965 TV Series Himself
Perry Como's Kraft Music Hall 1965 TV Series Himself - Guest
The Woody Allen Show 1965 TV Short Himself
Missing Links 1964 TV Series Himself
The Jack Paar Program 1962-1964 TV Series Himself
That Was the Week That Was 1964 TV Series Himself
The New Steve Allen Show 1963 TV Series Himself / Himself - Comedian
The Jack Paar Tonight Show 1962 TV Series Himself
The Pat Boone-Chevy Showroom 1960 TV Series Himself
10 Minutes in America 2014 TV Movie documentary Himself
Janela Indiscreta 2012-2014 TV Series Himself
The Oscars 2014 TV Special Himself - Nominee: Best Original Screenplay (credit only)
The 2014 Film Independent Spirit Awards 2014 TV Special Himself - Nominee (credit only)
71st Golden Globe Awards 2014 TV Special Himself - Cecil B DeMille Award Recipient (credit only)
David Blaine: Real or Magic 2013 TV Movie Himself
Marvin Hamlisch: What He Did for Love 2013 Documentary Himself
Trespassing Bergman 2013 Documentary Himself - Interviewee
The Unbelievers 2013 Documentary Himself
Días de cine 1996-2012 TV Series Himself
Cinema 3 1994-2012 TV Series Himself
Casting By 2012 Documentary Himself
Le grand journal de Canal+ 2009-2012 TV Series Himself
20 heures le journal 2012 TV Series Himself
Woody Allen: A Documentary 2012 Documentary Himself
Namath 2012 TV Movie documentary Himself
American Masters 2011 TV Series documentary Himself
Daybreak 2011 TV Series Himself
Woody Before Allen 2011 Documentary short Himself
Cannes Film Festival 2011 2011 TV Movie Himself
Episódio Especial 2011 TV Series Himself
Moi, ma famille rom et Woody Allen 2010 TV Movie documentary Himself
Entertainment Tonight 2003-2010 TV Series Himself
Gomorron 2010 TV Series Himself - Om You will meet a tall dark stranger
Cannes Film Festival 2010 2010 TV Movie Himself
...But Film is My Mistress 2010 Himself
Life Is Bearable at Times... 2010 Documentary Himself
30 for 30 2010 TV Series documentary Himself
Access Hollywood 2008-2009 TV Series Himself
Vittorio D. 2009 Documentary Himself
Top star magazín 2009 TV Series Himself
At the Movies 2008 TV Series Himself
Música de cine 2008 TV Movie documentary Himself
Resumen - 56º festival internacional de cine de San Sebastián 2008 TV Movie Himself
Èxit 2008 TV Series Himself
Silenci? 2003-2008 TV Series Himself
El club 2008 TV Series Himself
Ceremonia de inauguración - 56º Festival internacional de cine de San Sebastián 2008 TV Movie Himself
Seitenblicke 2008 TV Series documentary Himself
Los 40 del Príncipe 2008 TV Movie Himself
Speechless 2008 TV Movie documentary Himself
Sophia: Ieri, oggi, domani 2007 Documentary Himself
To My Great Chagrin: The Unbelievable Story of Brother Theodore 2007 Documentary Himself
Glass: A Portrait of Philip in Twelve Parts 2007 Documentary Himself
La nit al dia 2007 TV Series Himself
Home 2006/III Documentary Himself (uncredited)
XX premios Goya 2006 TV Special Himself - Winner: Best European Film (Taped)
Film 2015 1978-2006 TV Series Himself / Himself - Interviewee
On the Trail of Sigmund Freud 2005 TV Movie documentary Himself
The Andrew Marr Show 2005 TV Series Himself
Corazón de... 2005 TV Series Himself
Filmmakers in Action 2005 Documentary Himself
The Ballad of Greenwich Village 2005 Documentary Himself
Filmmakers vs. Tycoons 2005 Documentary Himself
The Outsider 2005 Documentary Himself
The Culture Show 2005 TV Series documentary Himself
Estravagario 2004 TV Series Himself
Ceremonia de apertura del festival de cine de San Sebastián 2004 TV Movie Himself - Honoree
François Truffaut, une autobiographie 2004 TV Movie documentary Himself
Je t'aime... moi non plus: Artistes et critiques 2004 Documentary Himself
Sid Caesar Collection: Buried Treasures - Shining Stars 2003 Video Himself
Sid Caesar Collection: Buried Treasures - The Impact of Sid Caesar 2003 Video Himself
Sid Caesar Collection: Buried Treasures - The Legend of Sid Caesar 2003 Video Himself
Charlie: The Life and Art of Charles Chaplin 2003 Documentary Himself - Director / Writer / Actor
100 Years of Hope and Humor 2003 TV Special Himself
Last Laugh 2003 TV Movie Himself
Biography 1996-2003 TV Series documentary Himself
Die Harald Schmidt Show 2002 TV Series Himself
Woody Allen: A Life in Film 2002 TV Movie documentary Himself
Estudio de actores 2002 TV Series Himself
The 74th Annual Academy Awards 2002 TV Special Himself - Presenter: New York Tribute
The Magic of Fellini 2002 TV Movie documentary Himself
Hail Sid Caesar! The Golden Age of Comedy 2001 Documentary Himself
The Sid Caesar Collection: The Fan Favorites - The Dream Team of Comedy 2001 Video documentary Himself
All About Desire: The Passionate Cinema of Pedro Almodovar 2001 TV Movie documentary Himself
Campus, le magazine de l'écrit 2001 TV Series documentary Himself
Continuar 1997-2001 TV Series Himself
El informal 2001 TV Series Himself
The Sid Caesar Collection: The Fan Favorites - Love & Laughter 2001 Video documentary Himself
The Sid Caesar Collection: The Fan Favorites - The Professor and Other Clowns 2001 Video documentary Himself
HARDtalk 2001 TV Series Himself
Caiga quien caiga 2001 TV Series Himself
Hollywood Profile 2001 TV Series documentary Himself
Stanley Kubrick: A Life in Pictures 2001 Documentary Himself
The Sid Caesar Collection: Creating the Comedy 2000 Video documentary Himself
The Sid Caesar Collection: Inside the Writer's Room 2000 Video documentary Himself
The Sid Caesar Collection: The Magic of Live TV 2000 Video documentary Himself
Waiting for Woody 2000 TV Movie documentary Himself
Scene by Scene 2000 TV Series Himself - Interviewee
Buñuel en Hollywood 2000 TV Movie documentary Himself
Ljuset håller mig sällskap 2000 Documentary Himself - Interviewee
Àgora 1999 TV Series Himself
Howard Cosell: Telling It Like It Is 1999 TV Movie documentary Himself
Sweet and Lowdown 1999 Himself
Parkinson 1999 TV Series Himself
NY TV: By the People Who Made It - Part I & II 1998 TV Movie documentary Himself
Sugar Ray Robinson: The Bright Lights and Dark Shadows of a Champion 1998 TV Movie documentary Himself
AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies: The Antiheroes 1998 TV Movie documentary Himself
AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies: In Search of 1998 TV Special documentary Himself
AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies: America's Greatest Movies 1998 TV Special documentary Himself
Les enfants de la télé 1998 TV Series Himself
The Secret World of 'Antz' 1998 TV Movie documentary Himself
Avisa'ns quan arribi el 2000 1997 TV Series Himself
Just Shoot Me! 1997 TV Series Himself
Dennis Pennis R.I.P. 1997 Video Himself
Liv Ullmann scener fra et liv 1997 Documentary Narrator (American Version)
Very Important Pennis 1997 TV Series Himself
Mundo VIP 1997 TV Series Himself
Cannes... les 400 coups 1997 TV Movie documentary Himself
The Language Master 1997 Documentary Himself
Wild Man Blues 1997 Documentary Himself - the Clarinetist
Corazón, corazón 1996 TV Series Himself
Lignes de mire 1995 TV Series Himself
Bouillon de culture 1995 TV Series documentary Himself
La marche du siècle 1995 TV Series documentary Himself (Interview)
La senda 1994 TV Series Himself (1994)
Showbiz Today 1992 TV Series Himself
7 sur 7 1992 TV Series Himself
Mister Manhattan: Woody Allen 1987 TV Movie documentary Himself - Interviewee
Meeting Woody Allen 1986 Documentary short Himself
The Marx Brothers in a Nutshell 1982 TV Movie documentary Himself
L'oeuvre et la vie de Woody Allen 1982 TV Movie documentary Himself
HBO Boxing 1982 TV Series documentary Himself - Audience Member
To Woody Allen from Europe with Love 1980 Documentary Himself

Archive Footage

Archive Footage

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Entertainment Tonight 2008-2015 TV Series Himself
The Sixties 2014 TV Mini-Series documentary Himself - Comedian
Muhammad Ali's Greatest Fight 2013 Himself
Un voyageur 2013 Documentary Himself
The Battle of Amfar 2013 Documentary short Himself (uncredited)
Welcome to the Basement 2012 TV Series Himself
Kulturzeit 2012 TV Series Himself
Frost on Interviews 2012 TV Movie documentary Himself
Excavating the 2000 Year Old Man 2012 Documentary short Himself
2011 Samsung AACTA Awards 2012 TV Special Himself - Director / Writer
Imagine 2011 TV Series documentary Himself
Bert Stern: Original Madman 2011 Documentary Himself - interviewer
My Favourite Joke 2011 TV Series Himself
Sidewalls 2011 Isaac (uncredited)
Willkommen Österreich 2011 TV Series Himself
Nature 2011 TV Series documentary Himself - Premiere of 'Born Free'
España, plató de cine 2009 TV Movie documentary Himself
Facing Ali 2009 Documentary Himself (uncredited)
Buscando a Penélope 2009 TV Movie Himself
Filmania: Eiga no tatsujin 2009 TV Series Himself
Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America 2009 TV Series documentary Himself
Thrilla in Manila 2008 TV Movie documentary Himself (uncredited)
Continuar 2008 TV Series Himself
Banda sonora 2008 TV Series Larry Lipton
Catalunya.cat 2008 TV Movie documentary Himself
XXII Premios Anuales de la Academia 2008 TV Special Himself
El hormiguero 2007 TV Series Himself
100 Greatest Stand-Ups 2007 TV Movie documentary Himself
La tele de tu vida 2007 TV Series Himself
XXI Premios Anuales de la Academia 2007 TV Special Sid Waterman (uncredited)
Premio Donostia a Matt Dillon 2006 TV Movie Himself
La imagen de tu vida 2006 TV Series Himself
Premio Donostia a Max Von Sydow 2006 TV Movie Himself
¿De qué te ríes? 2006 TV Movie Alvy Singer
Cavett Remembers the Comic Legends 2006 Video documentary short Himself
Buenafuente 2005 TV Series Himself
Cinema mil 2005 TV Series Himself / Lenny
Premio Donostia a Willem Dafoe 2005 TV Movie Himself
Candid Camera: 5 Decades of Smiles 2005 Video Himself
The Comedians' Comedian 2005 TV Movie documentary
Funny Already: A History of Jewish Comedy 2004 TV Movie documentary Himself
I Love the '90s 2004 TV Series documentary Himself
Silenci? 2004 TV Series Himself
Comedy Central Presents: 100 Greatest Stand-Ups of All Time 2004 TV Mini-Series Himself #4
101 Most Shocking Moments in Entertainment 2003 TV Movie documentary Himself
Inside the Actors Studio 2003 TV Series Himself
Jack Paar: Smart Television 2003 TV Movie documentary Himself
Playboy: Inside the Playboy Mansion 2002 TV Movie documentary Himself
Celebrity Profile 2001 TV Series documentary Himself
Playboy: The Party Continues 2000 TV Movie documentary Himself
CyberWorld 2000 Short Z-4195
Ali-Frazier I: One Nation... Divisible 2000 TV Movie documentary Himself - Audience Member (uncredited)
Sharon Stone - Una mujer de 100 caras 1998 TV Movie documentary Himself (uncredited)
A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries 1998 Himself (interviewee on TV) (uncredited)
A Really Big Show: Ed Sullivan's 50th Anniversary 1998 TV Special Himself
50 años de cámaras ocultas 1998 TV Movie Himself
American Masters 1997 TV Series documentary Himself
Classic Stand-Up Comedy of Television 1996 TV Special documentary Himself
Candid Camera's 50th Anniversary 1996 TV Movie documentary Himself
The 68th Annual Academy Awards 1996 TV Special Lenny
50 Years of Funny Females 1995 TV Movie documentary Himself
The 67th Annual Academy Awards 1995 TV Special Himself - Nominee: Best Director & Best Original Screenplay
100 Years at the Movies 1994 TV Short documentary Himself
The 62nd Annual Academy Awards 1990 TV Special Himself
Hollywood Mavericks 1990 Documentary Actor 'Annie Hall'
Bonds Are Forever 1983 Video documentary Jimmy Bond / Himself
Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson 20th Anniversary 1982 TV Movie Himself
Hollywood: The Gift of Laughter 1982 TV Movie documentary Actor 'Casino Royale' (uncredited)
Margret Dünser, auf der Suche nach den Besonderen 1981 TV Movie documentary Himself
America at the Movies 1976 Documentary Virgil Starkwell
ABC's Wide World of Sports 1974 TV Series Himself

Won awards

Won awards

YearAwardCeremonyNominationMovieAward shared with
2014 Cecil B. DeMille Award Golden Globes, USA
2014 Silver Condor Argentinean Film Critics Association Awards Best Foreign Film, Not in the Spanish Language (Mejor Película Extranjera) Blue Jasmine (2013)
2013 Grammy Grammy Awards Best Compilation Soundtrack For Visual Media Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Original Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 Audience Award Turia Awards Best Foreign Film Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 Turia Award Turia Awards Best Foreign Film Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 Golden Globe Golden Globes, USA Best Screenplay - Motion Picture Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Original Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 Critics Choice Award Broadcast Film Critics Association Awards Best Original Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 Cinema Brazil Grand Prize Cinema Brazil Grand Prize Best Foreign-Language Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro) Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 CEC Award Cinema Writers Circle Awards, Spain Best Screenplay, Original (Mejor Guión Original) Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 GFCA Award Georgia Film Critics Association (GFCA) Best Original Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 IOMA Italian Online Movie Awards (IOMA) Best Original Screenplay (Miglior sceneggiatura originale) Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 OFCS Award Online Film Critics Society Awards Best Screenplay, Original Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 SDFCS Award San Diego Film Critics Society Awards Best Screenplay, Original Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 SEFCA Award Southeastern Film Critics Association Awards Best Screenplay, Original Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 EDA Award Alliance of Women Film Journalists Best Writing, Original Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 Austin Film Critics Award Austin Film Critics Association Best Original Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 ACCA Awards Circuit Community Awards Best Original Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2010 Turia Award Turia Awards Best Foreign Film Whatever Works (2009)
2009 Audience Award SESC Film Festival, Brazil Best Foreign Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro) Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009 Audience Award SESC Film Festival, Brazil Best Foreign Director (Melhor Diretor Estrangeiro) Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009 Audience Award Sant Jordi Awards Best Film (Mejor Película Española) Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009 Cinema Brazil Grand Prize Cinema Brazil Grand Prize Best Foreign-Language Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro) Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009 Audience Award Cinema Brazil Grand Prize Best Foreign-Language Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro) Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009 Independent Spirit Award Independent Spirit Awards Best Screenplay Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2008 Sebastiane Award San Sebastián International Film Festival Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2006 Audience Award Sant Jordi Awards Best Foreign Film (Mejor Película Extranjera) Match Point (2005)
2006 Audience Award Turia Awards Best Foreign Film Match Point (2005)
2006 ADIRCAE Award ADIRCAE Awards Best Foreign Film Match Point (2005)
2006 Award of the Argentinean Academy Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences of Argentina Best Foreign Film Match Point (2005)
2006 David David di Donatello Awards Best European Film (Miglior Film dell'Unione Europea) Match Point (2005)
2006 Goya Goya Awards Best European Film (Mejor Película Europea) Match Point (2005)
2004 Donostia Lifetime Achievement Award San Sebastián International Film Festival
2002 Prince of Asturias Award Prince of Asturias Awards Arts
2001 Gran Angular Award Sitges - Catalonian International Film Festival Best Film The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)
1999 Audience Award Turia Awards Best Foreign Film Deconstructing Harry (1997)
1999 OFTA Film Award Online Film & Television Association Best Voice-Over Performance Antz (1998)
1999 OFTA Film Award Online Film & Television Association Best Family Actor Antz (1998)
1998 Audience Award Turia Awards Best Foreign Film Everyone Says I Love You (1996)
1998 Turia Award Turia Awards Best Foreign Film Everyone Says I Love You (1996)
1998 Lifetime Achievement Award Las Vegas Film Critics Society Awards
1998 Special Achievement Award London Critics Circle Film Awards
1997 Academy Fellowship BAFTA Awards
1997 Butaca Butaca Awards Best Art House Film (Millor película d'autor) Everyone Says I Love You (1996)
1996 Butaca Butaca Awards Best Art House Film (Millor película d'autor) Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
1996 Lifetime Achievement Award Directors Guild of America, USA
1993 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Screenplay - Original Husbands and Wives (1992)
1991 ALFS Award London Critics Circle Film Awards Director of the Year Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1991 ALFS Award London Critics Circle Film Awards Screenwriter of the Year Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 BSFC Award Boston Society of Film Critics Awards Best Director Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 BSFC Award Boston Society of Film Critics Awards Best Screenplay Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 David David di Donatello Awards Best Foreign Screenplay (Migliore Sceneggiatura Straniera) Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 Literary Award PEN Center USA West Literary Awards Screenplay Original Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1989 Truly Moving Picture Award Heartland Film Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1988 Critics Award SESC Film Festival, Brazil Best Foreign Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro) Radio Days (1987)
1987 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 Laurel Award for Screen Writing Achievement Writers Guild of America, USA
1987 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Direction Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Screenplay - Original Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 American Comedy Award American Comedy Awards, USA Funniest Actor in a Motion Picture (Leading Role) Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 Lifetime Achievement Award in Comedy American Comedy Awards, USA
1987 Bodil Bodil Awards Best Non-European Film (Bedste ikke-europæiske film) Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 BSFC Award Boston Society of Film Critics Awards Best Screenplay Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 David David di Donatello Awards Best Foreign Screenplay (Migliore Sceneggiatura Straniera) Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 Critics Award French Syndicate of Cinema Critics Best Foreign Film Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 ALFS Award London Critics Circle Film Awards Screenwriter of the Year Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 Mainichi Film Concours Mainichi Film Concours Best Foreign Language Film The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 Golden Globe Golden Globes, USA Best Screenplay - Motion Picture The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Film The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985) · Robert Greenhut
1986 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Screenplay - Original The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 President's Award Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films, USA The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 Bodil Bodil Awards Best Non-European Film (Bedste ikke-europæiske film) The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 BSFC Award Boston Society of Film Critics Awards Best Screenplay The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 César César Awards, France Best Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger) The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 Fotogramas de Plata Fotogramas de Plata Best Foreign Film (Mejor Película Extranjera) The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 Critics Award French Syndicate of Cinema Critics Best Foreign Film The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 Hochi Film Award Hochi Film Awards Best Foreign Language Film The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 LAFCA Award Los Angeles Film Critics Association Awards Best Screenplay Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1986 NBR Award National Board of Review, USA Best Director Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1986 NYFCC Award New York Film Critics Circle Awards Best Director Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1985 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Broadway Danny Rose (1984)
1985 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Screenplay - Original Broadway Danny Rose (1984)
1985 FIPRESCI Prize Cannes Film Festival The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1985 David David di Donatello Awards Best Foreign Screenplay (Migliore Sceneggiatura Straniera) Broadway Danny Rose (1984)
1985 NYFCC Award New York Film Critics Circle Awards Best Screenplay The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1984 Honorary Robert Robert Festival
1984 Bodil Bodil Awards Best Non-European Film (Bedste ikke-europæiske film) Zelig (1983)
1984 David David di Donatello Awards Best Foreign Actor (Migliore Attore Straniero) Zelig (1983)
1983 Pasinetti Award Venice Film Festival Best Film Zelig (1983)
1981 Guild Film Award - Silver Guild of German Art House Cinemas Foreign Film (Ausländischer Film) Manhattan (1979)
1980 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Screenplay Manhattan (1979) · Marshall Brickman
1980 Bodil Bodil Awards Best Non-European Film (Bedste ikke-europæiske film) Manhattan (1979)
1980 César César Awards, France Best Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger) Manhattan (1979)
1980 Fotogramas de Plata Fotogramas de Plata Best Foreign Film (Mejor Película Extranjera) Manhattan (1979)
1980 Silver Ribbon Italian National Syndicate of Film Journalists Best Foreign Director (Regista del Miglior Film Straniero) Manhattan (1979)
1980 NSFC Award National Society of Film Critics Awards, USA Best Director Manhattan (1979)
1979 Sant Jordi Sant Jordi Awards Best Foreign Film (Mejor Película Extranjera) Interiors (1978)
1979 Guild Film Award - Gold Guild of German Art House Cinemas Foreign Film (Ausländischer Film) Annie Hall (1977)
1979 NYFCC Award New York Film Critics Circle Awards Best Director Manhattan (1979)
1978 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Director Annie Hall (1977)
1978 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Annie Hall (1977) · Marshall Brickman
1978 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Comedy Written Directly for the Screen Annie Hall (1977) · Marshall Brickman
1978 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Direction Annie Hall (1977)
1978 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Screenplay Annie Hall (1977) · Marshall Brickman
1978 Bodil Bodil Awards Best Non-European Film (Bedste ikke-europæiske film) Annie Hall (1977)
1978 DGA Award Directors Guild of America, USA Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Motion Pictures Annie Hall (1977) · Robert Greenhut, Fred T. Gallo, Frederic B. Blankfein
1978 KCFCC Award Kansas City Film Critics Circle Awards Best Director Interiors (1978)
1977 KCFCC Award Kansas City Film Critics Circle Awards Best Director Annie Hall (1977)
1977 LAFCA Award Los Angeles Film Critics Association Awards Best Screenplay Annie Hall (1977) · Marshall Brickman
1977 NSFC Award National Society of Film Critics Awards, USA Best Screenplay Annie Hall (1977) · Marshall Brickman
1977 NYFCC Award New York Film Critics Circle Awards Best Director Annie Hall (1977)
1977 NYFCC Award New York Film Critics Circle Awards Best Screenplay Annie Hall (1977) · Marshall Brickman
1975 Nebula Award Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America Best Dramatic Presentation Sleeper (1973)
1975 Silver Berlin Bear Berlin International Film Festival For his whole works.
1975 UNICRIT Award Berlin International Film Festival Love and Death (1975)
1974 Fotogramas de Plata Fotogramas de Plata Best Foreign Movie Performer (Mejor intérprete de cine extranjero) Play It Again, Sam (1972)
1974 Hugo Hugo Awards Best Dramatic Presentation Sleeper (1973) · Marshall Brickman

Nominated awards

Nominated awards

YearAwardCeremonyNominationMovieAward shared with
2014 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Original Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Original Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Original Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014 AACTA International Award Australian Film Institute Best Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014 Critics Choice Award Broadcast Film Critics Association Awards Best Original Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014 Cinema Brazil Grand Prize Cinema Brazil Grand Prize Best Foreign-Language Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro) Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014 César César Awards, France Best Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger) Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014 David David di Donatello Awards Best Foreign Film (Miglior Film Straniero) Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014 Independent Spirit Award Independent Spirit Awards Best Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014 ICS Award International Cinephile Society Awards Best Original Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014 INOCA International Online Cinema Awards (INOCA) Best Original Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014 IOMA Italian Online Movie Awards (IOMA) Best Original Screenplay (Miglior sceneggiatura originale) Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014 OFTA Film Award Online Film & Television Association Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Blue Jasmine (2013)
2013 SDFCS Award San Diego Film Critics Society Awards Best Original Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2013 Satellite Award Satellite Awards Best Director Blue Jasmine (2013)
2013 Satellite Award Satellite Awards Best Screenplay, Original Blue Jasmine (2013)
2013 Screenplay Competition Screenwriters Choice Awards, Online Best Original Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2013 WAFCA Award Washington DC Area Film Critics Association Awards Best Original Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2013 ACCA Awards Circuit Community Awards Best Original Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2013 CFCA Award Chicago Film Critics Association Awards Best Original Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2013 DFCS Award Denver Film Critics Society Best Writing, Original Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2013 DFCC Dublin Film Critics Circle Awards Best Director Blue Jasmine (2013)
2013 OFCS Award Online Film Critics Society Awards Best Original Screenplay Blue Jasmine (2013)
2012 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Achievement in Directing Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 Bradbury Award Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 VFCC Award Vancouver Film Critics Circle Best Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 Golden Globe Golden Globes, USA Best Director - Motion Picture Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Original Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 Award of the Argentinean Academy Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences of Argentina Best Foreign Film (Mejor Película Extranjera) To Rome with Love (2012)
2012 Saturn Award Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films, USA Best Writing Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 Silver Condor Argentinean Film Critics Association Awards Best Foreign Film, Not in the Spanish Language (Mejor Película Extranjera) Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 AACTA International Award Australian Film Institute Best Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 AACTA International Award Australian Film Institute Best Direction Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 CEC Award Cinema Writers Circle Awards, Spain Best Film (Mejor Película) Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 CEC Award Cinema Writers Circle Awards, Spain Best Director (Mejor Director) Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 DGA Award Directors Guild of America, USA Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Motion Pictures Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 Goya Goya Awards Best Screenplay - Original (Mejor Guión Original) Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 ICS Award International Cinephile Society Awards Best Original Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 Silver Ribbon Italian National Syndicate of Film Journalists Best Non-European Director (Regista del Miglior Film Non-Europeo) Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 IOMA Italian Online Movie Awards (IOMA) Best Picture (Miglior film) Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 IOMA Italian Online Movie Awards (IOMA) Best Director (Miglior regia) Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 Kinema Junpo Award Kinema Junpo Awards Best Foreign Language Film Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012 OFTA Film Award Online Film & Television Association Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 PFCS Award Phoenix Film Critics Society Awards Best Screenplay - Original Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 SDFCS Award San Diego Film Critics Society Awards Best Director Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 Satellite Award Satellite Awards Best Director Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 SLFCA Award St. Louis Film Critics Association, US Best Original Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 WAFCA Award Washington DC Area Film Critics Association Awards Best Director Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 WAFCA Award Washington DC Area Film Critics Association Awards Best Original Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 EDA Award Alliance of Women Film Journalists Best Director Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 CFCA Award Chicago Film Critics Association Awards Best Screenplay, Original Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 DFWFCA Award Dallas-Fort Worth Film Critics Association Awards Best Director Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 Golden Schmoes Golden Schmoes Awards Best Screenplay of the Year Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 HFCS Award Houston Film Critics Society Awards Best Director Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 HFCS Award Houston Film Critics Society Awards Best Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 PFCS Award Phoenix Film Critics Society Awards Best Director Midnight in Paris (2011)
2009 Robert Robert Festival Best American Film (Årets amerikanske film) Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009 White Elephant Russian Guild of Film Critics Best Foreign Film Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Original Screenplay Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009 Bodil Bodil Awards Best American Film (Bedste amerikanske film) Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009 Golden Eagle Golden Eagle Awards, Russia Best Foreign Film Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009 Silver Ribbon Italian National Syndicate of Film Journalists Best European Director (Regista del Miglior Film Europeo) Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2008 ACCA Awards Circuit Community Awards Best Original Screenplay Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2007 Robert Robert Festival Best American Film (Årets amerikanske film) Match Point (2005)
2007 Goya Goya Awards Best European Film (Mejor Película Europea) Scoop (2006)
2007 Silver Ribbon Italian National Syndicate of Film Journalists Best Non-European Director (Regista del Miglior Film Non-Europeo) Match Point (2005)
2006 White Elephant Russian Guild of Film Critics Best Foreign Film Match Point (2005)
2006 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Original Screenplay Match Point (2005)
2006 Golden Globe Golden Globes, USA Best Director - Motion Picture Match Point (2005)
2006 Golden Globe Golden Globes, USA Best Screenplay - Motion Picture Match Point (2005)
2006 César César Awards, France Best Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger) Match Point (2005)
2006 Edgar Edgar Allan Poe Awards Best Motion Picture Screenplay Match Point (2005)
2006 Golden Eagle Golden Eagle Awards, Russia Best Foreign Film Match Point (2005)
2006 OFTA Film Award Online Film & Television Association Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Match Point (2005)
2006 OFCS Award Online Film Critics Society Awards Best Screenplay, Original Match Point (2005)
2005 SLFCA Award St. Louis Film Critics Association, US Best Director Match Point (2005)
2005 SLFCA Award St. Louis Film Critics Association, US Best Screenplay Match Point (2005)
2001 Chlotrudis Award Chlotrudis Awards Best Original Screenplay Sweet and Lowdown (1999)
2000 Cinema Brazil Grand Prize Cinema Brazil Grand Prize Best Foreign Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro) Deconstructing Harry (1997)
1998 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Deconstructing Harry (1997)
1998 Butaca Butaca Awards Best Art House Film (Millor película d'autor) Deconstructing Harry (1997)
1998 César César Awards, France Best Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger) Everyone Says I Love You (1996)
1998 Screen International Award European Film Awards Deconstructing Harry (1997)
1997 Golden Satellite Award Satellite Awards Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical Everyone Says I Love You (1996)
1997 Screen International Award European Film Awards Everyone Says I Love You (1996)
1996 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
1996 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
1996 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Screenplay - Original Bullets Over Broadway (1994) · Douglas McGrath
1996 David David di Donatello Awards Best Foreign Film (Miglior Film Straniero) Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
1996 David David di Donatello Awards Best Foreign Actor (Migliore Attore Straniero) Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
1995 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Director Bullets Over Broadway (1994)
1995 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Bullets Over Broadway (1994) · Douglas McGrath
1995 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Bullets Over Broadway (1994) · Douglas McGrath
1995 Independent Spirit Award Independent Spirit Awards Best Screenplay Bullets Over Broadway (1994) · Douglas McGrath
1994 César César Awards, France Best Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger) Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)
1993 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Husbands and Wives (1992)
1993 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Husbands and Wives (1992)
1993 César César Awards, France Best Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger) Husbands and Wives (1992)
1992 César César Awards, France Best Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger) Alice (1990)
1992 David David di Donatello Awards Best Foreign Film (Miglior Film Straniero) Shadows and Fog (1991)
1991 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Alice (1990)
1991 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Alice (1990)
1991 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Direction Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1991 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Film Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989) · Robert Greenhut
1991 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Screenplay - Original Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Director Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 American Comedy Award American Comedy Awards, USA Funniest Actor in a Motion Picture (Leading Role) Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 CFCA Award Chicago Film Critics Association Awards Best Director Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 David David di Donatello Awards Best Foreign Actor (Migliore Attore Straniero) Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 David David di Donatello Awards Best Foreign Film (Miglior Film Straniero) Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 David David di Donatello Awards Best Foreign Director (Migliore Regista Straniero) Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 DGA Award Directors Guild of America, USA Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Motion Pictures Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990 Edgar Edgar Allan Poe Awards Best Motion Picture Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1989 David David di Donatello Awards Best Foreign Director (Migliore Regista Straniero) Another Woman (1988)
1989 Silver Ribbon Italian National Syndicate of Film Journalists Best Foreign Director (Regista del Miglior Film Straniero) Another Woman (1988)
1988 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Radio Days (1987)
1988 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Radio Days (1987)
1988 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Film Radio Days (1987) · Robert Greenhut
1988 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Screenplay - Original Radio Days (1987)
1987 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Director Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 Golden Globe Golden Globes, USA Best Director - Motion Picture Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 Golden Globe Golden Globes, USA Best Screenplay - Motion Picture Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Actor Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Film Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) · Robert Greenhut
1987 César César Awards, France Best Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger) Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 DGA Award Directors Guild of America, USA Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Motion Pictures Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987 Silver Ribbon Italian National Syndicate of Film Journalists Best Foreign Director (Regista del Miglior Film Straniero) Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1986 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 Saturn Award Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films, USA Best Director The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 Saturn Award Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films, USA Best Writing The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1985 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Director Broadway Danny Rose (1984)
1985 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Broadway Danny Rose (1984)
1984 Golden Globe Golden Globes, USA Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Comedy/Musical Zelig (1983)
1984 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Comedy Written Directly for the Screen Zelig (1983)
1984 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Screenplay - Original Zelig (1983)
1984 Saturn Award Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films, USA Best Director Zelig (1983)
1984 Silver Ribbon Italian National Syndicate of Film Journalists Best Foreign Director (Regista del Miglior Film Straniero) Zelig (1983)
1981 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Comedy Written Directly for the Screen Stardust Memories (1980)
1980 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Manhattan (1979) · Marshall Brickman
1980 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Comedy Written Directly for the Screen Manhattan (1979) · Marshall Brickman
1980 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Actor Manhattan (1979)
1980 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Direction Manhattan (1979)
1980 DGA Award Directors Guild of America, USA Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Motion Pictures Manhattan (1979)
1979 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Director Interiors (1978)
1979 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen Interiors (1978)
1979 Golden Globe Golden Globes, USA Best Director - Motion Picture Interiors (1978)
1979 Golden Globe Golden Globes, USA Best Screenplay - Motion Picture Interiors (1978)
1979 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Drama Written Directly for the Screen Interiors (1978)
1979 NSFC Award National Society of Film Critics Awards, USA Best Screenplay Interiors (1978)
1978 Oscar Academy Awards, USA Best Actor in a Leading Role Annie Hall (1977)
1978 Golden Globe Golden Globes, USA Best Director - Motion Picture Annie Hall (1977)
1978 Golden Globe Golden Globes, USA Best Motion Picture Actor - Musical/Comedy Annie Hall (1977)
1978 Golden Globe Golden Globes, USA Best Screenplay - Motion Picture Annie Hall (1977) · Marshall Brickman
1978 BAFTA Film Award BAFTA Awards Best Actor Annie Hall (1977)
1978 César César Awards, France Best Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger) Annie Hall (1977)
1975 Golden Berlin Bear Berlin International Film Festival Love and Death (1975)
1974 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Comedy Written Directly for the Screen Sleeper (1973) · Marshall Brickman
1972 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Comedy Written Directly for the Screen Bananas (1971) · Mickey Rose
1971 Golden Charybdis Taormina International Film Festival Bananas (1971)
1970 WGA Award (Screen) Writers Guild of America, USA Best Comedy Written Directly for the Screen Take the Money and Run (1969) · Mickey Rose
1970 Golden Laurel Laurel Awards Male Comedy Performance Take the Money and Run (1969)
1970 Golden Laurel Laurel Awards Male New Face Take the Money and Run (1969)
1966 Golden Laurel Laurel Awards New Faces, Male 13th place.
1959 Primetime Emmy Primetime Emmy Awards Best Writing of a Single Musical or Variety Program The Sid Caesar Show (1958) · Larry Gelbart

2nd place awards

2nd place awards

YearAwardCeremonyNominationMovieAward shared with
2012 COFCA Award Central Ohio Film Critics Association Best Screenplay - Original Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 DFWFCA Award Dallas-Fort Worth Film Critics Association Awards Best Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2011 NYFCC Award New York Film Critics Circle Awards Best Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
2005 UFCA Award Utah Film Critics Association Awards Best Director Match Point (2005)
2005 ACCA Awards Circuit Community Awards Best Original Screenplay Match Point (2005)
1987 NSFC Award National Society of Film Critics Awards, USA Best Screenplay Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1986 LAFCA Award Los Angeles Film Critics Association Awards Best Director Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1986 NSFC Award National Society of Film Critics Awards, USA Best Screenplay The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986 NYFCC Award New York Film Critics Circle Awards Best Screenplay Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1980 Sant Jordi Sant Jordi Awards Best Foreign Film (Mejor Película Extranjera) Manhattan (1979)
1980 NSFC Award National Society of Film Critics Awards, USA Best Screenplay Manhattan (1979) · Marshall Brickman
1979 NYFCC Award New York Film Critics Circle Awards Best Screenplay Manhattan (1979) · Marshall Brickman
1978 LAFCA Award Los Angeles Film Critics Association Awards Best Director Interiors (1978)
1978 LAFCA Award Los Angeles Film Critics Association Awards Best Screenplay Interiors (1978)

3rd place awards

3rd place awards

YearAwardCeremonyNominationMovieAward shared with
2012 NSFC Award National Society of Film Critics Awards, USA Best Screenplay Midnight in Paris (2011)
1983 NYFCC Award New York Film Critics Circle Awards Best Director Zelig (1983)
1983 NYFCC Award New York Film Critics Circle Awards Best Screenplay Zelig (1983)
1977 NSFC Award National Society of Film Critics Awards, USA Best Director Annie Hall (1977)

TitleSalary
Deconstructing Harry (1997) $2,500,000
Bullets Over Broadway (1994) $1,500,000
Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993) $500,000 +15% first-dollar gross
What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966) $66,000
Deconstructing Harry (1997) $2,500,000
Bullets Over Broadway (1994) $1,500,000
Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993) $500,000 +15% first-dollar gross
What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966) $66,000

#Fact
1 He has directed Dianne Wiest in five films: The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986), Radio Days (1987), September (1987) and Bullets Over Broadway (1994).
2 He has directed Diane Keaton in seven films: Sleeper (1973), Love and Death (1975), Annie Hall (1977), Interiors (1978), Manhattan (1979), Radio Days (1987) and Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993).
3 He directed his then girlfriend Mia Farrow in thirteen films: A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982), Zelig (1983), Broadway Danny Rose (1984), The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986), Radio Days (1987), September (1987), Another Woman (1988), New York Stories (1989), Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989), Alice (1990), Shadows and Fog (1991) and Husbands and Wives (1992).
4 In a July 2014 interview, he revealed that one of his few dream projects would be a biopic of Sidney Bechet.
5 As of 2014, has written three films that were nominated for the Best Picture Oscar: Annie Hall (1977), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) and Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011). Of those, Annie Hall (1977) is a winner in the category and all the three scripts are winners in the Best Original Screenplay category.
6 He would offer the part to actors he admires by sending them a letter and asking politely if they are interested in being in one of his movies.
7 Claims he watches TV only before bed or when he's exercising.
8 Responded to renewed allegations of child abuse by his estranged and grown daughter Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow by writing an op-ed to the New York Times published Feb 7, 2014 which he concluded by declaring it would be the last time he would ever comment on the matter.
9 Doesn't watch his own movies.
10 Despite having the most nominations for ''Best Original Screenplay'', he almost never attends the Academy Awards.
11 Many big-name actors are so eager to work with him that they usually work for a fraction of their usual salaries.
12 He worked with Peter Sellers, Peter O'Toole, Ursula Andress and Burt Bacharach on both What's New Pussycat (1965) and Casino Royale (1967).
13 Interviewed in "The Great Comedians Talk About Comedy' by Larry Wilde'.
14 European concert tour (Brussels, Luxembourg, Vienna, Paris, Budapest, Athens, Lisbon, Barcelona, San Sebastian, La Coruna) with the Eddie Davis New Orleans Jazz Band. [December 2007]
15 Plays clarinet every Monday night at the Café Carlyle in Manhattan. [October 2005]
16 Every film directed by Allen since Love and Death (1975) through Irrational Man (2015), was cast by longtime friend and New York casting director Juliet Taylor.
17 His top ten films of all time are: La Grande Illusion (1937), Citizen Kane (1941), Bicycle Thieves (1948), Rashomon (1950), The Seventh Seal (1957), Paths of Glory (1957), The 400 Blows (1959), 8½ (1963), The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972) and Amarcord (1973).
18 He's not a member of AMPAS.
19 The oldest Academy Award winner for Best Original Screenplay (aged 76 in 2012 for Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011)).
20 In the early 1960's, he did stand-up comedy at Enrico's Café in San Francisco.
21 Match Point (2005) was his first film to make money in seven years.
22 As a homage to Gordon Willis, his long-time friend and cinematographer, he includes a scene where you hear the actors talking outside the shot. Willis encouraged him to do this when they were shooting Annie Hall (1977).
23 Plays his clarinet at a Jazz club where the house rule is that he cannot be addressed by any member of the audience. If someone does speak to him, they are automatically ejected from the club.
24 Profiled in "American Classic Screen Interviews" (Scarecrow Press).
25 He directed, wrote and starred in five of the American Film Institute's 100 Funniest Movies: Annie Hall (1977) at #4, Manhattan (1979) at #46, Take the Money and Run (1969) at #66, Bananas (1971) at #69 and Sleeper (1973) at #80.
26 Writes his scripts on a typewriter. He does not own a personal computer, and has his Email account managed by assistants.
27 Manages his one-film-per-year schedule by setting strict budgets. Actors--famous or otherwise--receive the same salary.
28 Although he was granted visitation rights for his son Ronan Farrow, after a custody battle with Mia Farrow, their relationship is estranged (similar to his other children with Farrow, Moses and Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow). Ronan stated that he cannot have a morally consistent relationship with a man who is his father and his brother-in-law.
29 His and Mia Farrow's 12-year relationship ended in a custody battle over their three children in which she accused him of sexually molesting their daughter Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow, though the judge dismissed the claims because they were not substantiated. Farrow ultimately won custody of the children. Allen was denied visitation rights with Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow and could only see his biological son, Ronan, under supervision. Moses Farrow chose not to see his father.
30 According to Eric Lax's book, Allen's favorites of his films are (in order): Match Point (2005), The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), Stardust Memories (1980), Broadway Danny Rose (1984), and Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993).
31 Although depicting himself as nerd in his movies, he was a popular student and adept baseball and basketball player at high school.
32 A life-size statue of him was erected in the Spanish city of Oviedo (2002).
33 After dropping out from New York University, where he studied communication and film, he attended City College of New York.
34 His variety of neuroses include: arachnophobia (spiders), entomophobia (insects), heliophobia (sunshine), cynophobia (dogs), altophobia (heights), demophobia (crowds), carcinophobia (cancer), thanatophobia (death), misophobia (germs). He admits to being terrified of hotel bathrooms.
35 Awarded an honorary doctorate degree by Pompeu Fabra University in Barcelona, Spain (June 2007).
36 Is a vegetarian.
37 Was set to reprise his voice role in Antz (1998) for a planned direct-to-video Antz 2 but the project never got off the ground.
38 Was originally attached to co-star with Jim Carrey in the Farrelly Brothers comedy Stuck on You (2003), but decided to pass on the idea.
39 Distant cousin of Abe Burrows.
40 Stating in an interview that he was "not interested in all that extra stuff on DVDs" and that he hopes his films would speak for themselves. Allen has never recorded an audio commentary or even so much has been interviewed for a DVD of any films with which he had been involved.
41 Wrote What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966), Take the Money and Run (1969) and Bananas (1971) with his childhood friend and first writing partner, Mickey Rose. Rose also co-wrote on all of Allen's earlier comedy albums and had a big hand in writing the famous "Moose" sketch.
42 His godson Quincy Rose is also a successful writer and actor.
43 Five of his movies brought home his actresses Academy Awards: Annie Hall (1977) for Diane Keaton, Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) and Bullets Over Broadway (1994) both for Dianne Wiest, Mighty Aphrodite (1995) for Mira Sorvino, Viki, Kristina, Barselona (2008) for Penélope Cruz, and Blue Jasmine (2013) for Cate Blanchett.
44 Told a reporter that he has earned more money from two real estate transactions than he has from all of his movies combined. Sold his long-held Fifth Avenue penthouse (which he had purchased for $600,000) for a profit of $17 million and a renovated townhouse for a profit of some $7 million (December 2005).
45 Got hooked on movies when he was 3-years-old, when his mother took him him to see Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937). From that day, he said, theaters became his second home.
46 As a boy growing up in Brooklyn, he spent most of his time alone in his room practicing magic tricks or his clarinet.
47 Does not allow his films to be edited for airlines and television broadcasts.
48 Married to Mia Farrow's adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn, from her second marriage with André Previn.
49 According to Mia Farrow's biography, "What Falls Away", Frank Sinatra offered to have Allen's legs broken when he was found to be having an affair with her adopted daughter, Soon-Yi Previn.
50 He has only directed one film in which both of his longtime companions Diane Keaton and Mia Farrow appear: Radio Days (1987).
51 Ranked #10 in Empire (UK) magazine's Greatest Directors Ever! poll (2005).
52 Is a fan of Alfredo Zitarrosa, one of the best Uruguayan musicians.
53 Directed 17 different actors in Oscar-nominated performances: Diane Keaton, Geraldine Page, Maureen Stapleton, Mariel Hemingway, Michael Caine, Dianne Wiest (twice), Martin Landau, Judy Davis, Chazz Palminteri, Jennifer Tilly, Mira Sorvino, Sean Penn, Samantha Morton, Penélope Cruz, Cate Blanchett, Sally Hawkins and himself. Keaton, Caine, Wiest (both times), Sorvino, Cruz, and Blanchett won Oscars for their performances in one of his movies.
54 Although he is barely interested in awards, he's one of the Academy's favorites - his 16 Oscar Nominations for Best Original Screenplay as of 2014 are a record for that category, and puts him ahead of Billy Wilder, who had 19 combined Oscar nominations for Writing and Directing. With 24 nominations in the combination of the top-three categories--acting, directing and writing--he holds the record there as well.
55 Longtime fan and season ticket holder of the NBA's New York Knicks.
56 Woody's paternal grandparents, Isaac Koenigsberg and Jennie, were Russian Jewish immigrants. Woody's maternal grandparents, Leon Cherry and Sarah Hoff, were Austrian Jewish immigrants.
57 Biological son, Ronan Farrow, graduated from college at 15 and was accepted into Yale Law School.
58 Ranked #4 in Comedy Central's 100 Greatest Stand-Up Comedians of All Time.
59 Has a look-alike puppet in the French show Les guignols de l'info (1988).
60 Biography in: John Wakeman, editor. "World Film Directors, Volume Two, 1945-1985." Pages 20-29. New York: The H.W. Wilson Company, 1988.
61 Has been nominated or won 136 awards, more than Charles Chaplin, Buster Keaton, and Harold Lloyd combined.
62 Was voted the 19th greatest director of all time by Entertainment Weekly.
63 Son of bookkeeper Martin Konigsberg (December 25, 1900-January 13, 2001) and his wife Nettie Konigsberg (November 8, 1906-January 27, 2002).
64 Graduated from Midwood High School at Brooklyn College.
65 Legally changed his name to Heywood Allen. Goes by "Woody" in honor of Woody Herman.
66 In addition to being a comedian, musician and filmmaker, he is also a respected playwright.
67 After completing his first musical, Everyone Says I Love You (1996), he stated that he'd like to do another in the future with an all-original score. Since making that statement, however, nothing has yet materialized.
68 He has more Academy Award nominations (16) for writing than anyone else, all of them are in the Written Directly for the Screen category.
69 Attended the Cannes Film Festival for the first time to receive the Palm of Palms award for lifetime achievement (2002).
70 Wrote the concept for the film Hollywood Ending (2002) on the back of a matchbook. Years later, he found the matchbook with the notes for the film on it and made the film.
71 Made his first appearance at the Oscars in Hollywood to make a plea for producers to continue filming their movies in New York after the 9/11 tragedy (2002).
72 Despite the advancement of sound technology, all of his films are mixed and released in monaural sound, although later ones have a mono Dolby Digital mix.
73 Born at 10:55 PM EST.
74 Accused British interviewer Michael Parkinson of having a morbid interest in his private life and rejected questions about the custody battle for his children during his appearance on the BBC's Parkinson (1971) in 1999.
75 One of the most prolific American directors of his generation, he has written, directed, and more often than not starred in a film just about every year since 1969.
76 Among his biggest idols are Ingmar Bergman, Groucho Marx, Federico Fellini, Cole Porter, and Anton Chekhov.
77 Was once invited to appear with the Royal Shakespeare Company. Stanley Kubrick also considered casting him in Sydney Pollack's part in Eyes Wide Shut (1999).
78 Older brother of Letty Aronson.
79 Adopted his second daughter Manzie Tio Allen, named after Manzie Johnson, a drummer with Sidney Bechet's band, after she had been born in Texas. (February 2000).
80 He loves Venice, and helped to raise funds to rebuild the Venetian theater La Fenice, which was destroyed by a fire.
81 Suspended from New York University.
82 He and former lover Mia Farrow had three children: Moses Farrow (adopted son, aka Misha), Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow (adopted daughter, aka Mallone), and Satchel Farrow (biological son, b. 1988, aka Ronan).
83 Refuses to watch any of his movies once released.
84 Speaks French.
85 Ranked #43 in Empire (UK) magazine's Top 100 Movie Stars of All Time list (October 1997).
86 His adopted daughter Bechet Dumaine, named after Sidney Bechet, was born in December 1998.
87 Woody Allen refuses to watch any of his movies once released.
88 In a July 2014 interview, he revealed that one of his few dream projects would be a biopic of Sidney Bechet.
89 Along with Orson Welles, Laurence Olivier, Warren Beatty, Kenneth Branagh, Clint Eastwood and Roberto Benigni, he is one of only seven people to receive Academy Award nominations for both Best Actor and Best Director for the same film: Welles for Citizen Kane (1941), Olivier for Hamlet (1948), Allen for Annie Hall (1977), Beatty for Reds (1981), Branagh for Henry V (1989), Eastwood for Unforgiven (1992) and Benigni for Life Is Beautiful (1997).
90 As of 2014, has written three films that were nominated for the Best Picture Oscar: Annie Hall (1977), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) and Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011). Of those, Annie Hall (1977) is a winner in the category and all the three scripts are winners in the Best Original Screenplay category.
91 He would offer the part to actors he admires by sending them a letter and asking politely if they are interested in being in one of his movies.
92 Claims he watches TV only before bed or when he's exercising.
93 Responded to renewed allegations of child abuse by his estranged and grown daughter Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow by writing an op-ed to the New York Times published Feb 7, 2014 which he concluded by declaring it would be the last time he would ever comment on the matter.
94 Doesn't watch his own movies.
95 Despite having the most nominations for ''Best Original Screenplay'', he almost never attends the Academy Awards.
96 Many big-name actors are so eager to work with him that they usually work for a fraction of their usual salaries.
97 He worked with Peter Sellers, Peter O'Toole, Ursula Andress and Burt Bacharach on both What's New Pussycat (1965) and Casino Royale (1967).
98 Interviewed in "The Great Comedians Talk About Comedy' by Larry Wilde'.
99 European concert tour (Brussels, Luxembourg, Vienna, Paris, Budapest, Athens, Lisbon, Barcelona, San Sebastian, La Coruna) with the Eddie Davis New Orleans Jazz Band. [December 2007]
100 Plays clarinet every Monday night at the Café Carlyle in Manhattan. [October 2005]
101 Every film directed by Allen since Love and Death (1975) through Irrational Man (2015), was cast by longtime friend and New York casting director Juliet Taylor.
102 His top ten films of all time are: La Grande Illusion (1937), Citizen Kane (1941), Bicycle Thieves (1948), Rashomon (1950), The Seventh Seal (1957), Paths of Glory (1957), The 400 Blows (1959), 8½ (1963), The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972) and Amarcord (1973).
103 He's not a member of AMPAS.
104 The oldest Academy Award winner for Best Original Screenplay (aged 76 in 2012 for Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011)).
105 In the early 1960's, he did stand-up comedy at Enrico's Café in San Francisco.
106 Match Point (2005) was his first film to make money in seven years.
107 As a homage to Gordon Willis, his long-time friend and cinematographer, he includes a scene where you hear the actors talking outside the shot. Willis encouraged him to do this when they were shooting Annie Hall (1977).
108 Plays his clarinet at a Jazz club where the house rule is that he cannot be addressed by any member of the audience. If someone does speak to him, they are automatically ejected from the club.
109 Profiled in "American Classic Screen Interviews" (Scarecrow Press).
110 He directed, wrote and starred in five of the American Film Institute's 100 Funniest Movies: Annie Hall (1977) at #4, Manhattan (1979) at #46, Take the Money and Run (1969) at #66, Bananas (1971) at #69 and Sleeper (1973) at #80.
111 Writes his scripts on a typewriter. He does not own a personal computer, and has his Email account managed by assistants.
112 Manages his one-film-per-year schedule by setting strict budgets. Actors--famous or otherwise--receive the same salary.
113 Although he was granted visitation rights for his son Ronan Farrow, after a custody battle with Mia Farrow, their relationship is estranged (similar to his other children with Farrow, Moses and Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow). Ronan stated that he cannot have a morally consistent relationship with a man who is his father and his brother-in-law.
114 His and Mia Farrow's 12-year relationship ended in a custody battle over their three children in which she accused him of sexually molesting their daughter Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow, though the judge dismissed the claims because they were not substantiated. Farrow ultimately won custody of the children. Allen was denied visitation rights with Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow and could only see his biological son, Ronan, under supervision. Moses Farrow chose not to see his father.
115 According to Eric Lax's book, Allen's favorites of his films are (in order): Match Point (2005), The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), Stardust Memories (1980), Broadway Danny Rose (1984), and Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993).
116 Although depicting himself as nerd in his movies, he was a popular student and adept baseball and basketball player at high school.
117 A life-size statue of him was erected in the Spanish city of Oviedo (2002).
118 After dropping out from New York University, where he studied communication and film, he attended City College of New York.
119 His variety of neuroses include: arachnophobia (spiders), entomophobia (insects), heliophobia (sunshine), cynophobia (dogs), altophobia (heights), demophobia (crowds), carcinophobia (cancer), thanatophobia (death), misophobia (germs). He admits to being terrified of hotel bathrooms.
120 Awarded an honorary doctorate degree by Pompeu Fabra University in Barcelona, Spain (June 2007).
121 Is a vegetarian.
122 Was set to reprise his voice role in Antz (1998) for a planned direct-to-video Antz 2 but the project never got off the ground.
123 Was originally attached to co-star with Jim Carrey in the Farrelly Brothers comedy Stuck on You (2003), but decided to pass on the idea.
124 Distant cousin of Abe Burrows.
125 Stating in an interview that he was "not interested in all that extra stuff on DVDs" and that he hopes his films would speak for themselves. Allen has never recorded an audio commentary or even so much has been interviewed for a DVD of any films with which he had been involved.
126 Wrote What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966), Take the Money and Run (1969) and Bananas (1971) with his childhood friend and first writing partner, Mickey Rose. Rose also co-wrote on all of Allen's earlier comedy albums and had a big hand in writing the famous "Moose" sketch.
127 His godson Quincy Rose is also a successful writer and actor.
128 Five of his movies brought home his actresses Academy Awards: Annie Hall (1977) for Diane Keaton, Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) and Bullets Over Broadway (1994) both for Dianne Wiest, Mighty Aphrodite (1995) for Mira Sorvino, Viki, Kristina, Barselona (2008) for Penélope Cruz, and Blue Jasmine (2013) for Cate Blanchett.
129 Told a reporter that he has earned more money from two real estate transactions than he has from all of his movies combined. Sold his long-held Fifth Avenue penthouse (which he had purchased for $600,000) for a profit of $17 million and a renovated townhouse for a profit of some $7 million (December 2005).
130 Got hooked on movies when he was 3-years-old, when his mother took him him to see Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937). From that day, he said, theaters became his second home.
131 As a boy growing up in Brooklyn, he spent most of his time alone in his room practicing magic tricks or his clarinet.
132 Does not allow his films to be edited for airlines and television broadcasts.
133 Married to Mia Farrow's adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn, from her second marriage with André Previn.
134 According to Mia Farrow's biography, "What Falls Away", Frank Sinatra offered to have Allen's legs broken when he was found to be having an affair with her adopted daughter, Soon-Yi Previn.
135 He and Mia Farrow made 13 movies together: Broadway Danny Rose (1984), Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986), Alice (1990), Another Woman (1988), The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), September (1987), Husbands and Wives (1992), A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982), New York Stories (1989), Radio Days (1987), Shadows and Fog (1991) and Zelig (1983).
136 He and Diane Keaton made 8 movies together: Annie Hall (1977), Love and Death (1975), Manhattan (1979), Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993), Radio Days (1987), Play It Again, Sam (1972), Interiors (1978) and Sleeper (1973).
137 Directed only one movie in which both of his longtime companions Diane Keaton and Mia Farrow appear in: Radio Days (1987)
138 Ranked #10 in Empire (UK) magazine's Greatest Directors Ever! poll (2005).
139 Is a fan of Alfredo Zitarrosa, one of the best Uruguayan musicians.
140 Directed 17 different actors in Oscar-nominated performances: Diane Keaton, Geraldine Page, Maureen Stapleton, Mariel Hemingway, Michael Caine, Dianne Wiest (twice), Martin Landau, Judy Davis, Chazz Palminteri, Jennifer Tilly, Mira Sorvino, Sean Penn, Samantha Morton, Penélope Cruz, Cate Blanchett, Sally Hawkins and himself. Keaton, Caine, Wiest (both times), Sorvino, Cruz, and Blanchett won Oscars for their performances in one of his movies.
141 Although he is barely interested in awards, he's one of the Academy's favorites - his 16 Oscar Nominations for Best Original Screenplay as of 2014 are a record for that category, and puts him ahead of Billy Wilder, who had 19 combined Oscar nominations for Writing and Directing. With 24 nominations in the combination of the top-three categories--acting, directing and writing--he holds the record there as well.
142 Longtime fan and season ticket holder of the NBA's New York Knicks.
143 Woody's paternal grandparents, Isaac Koenigsberg and Jennie, were Russian Jewish immigrants. Woody's maternal grandparents, Leon Cherry and Sarah Hoff, were Austrian Jewish immigrants.
144 Biological son, Ronan Farrow, graduated from college at 15 and was accepted into Yale Law School.
145 Ranked #4 in Comedy Central's 100 Greatest Stand-Up Comedians of All Time.
146 Has a look-alike puppet in the French show Les guignols de l'info (1988).
147 Biography in: John Wakeman, editor. "World Film Directors, Volume Two, 1945-1985." Pages 20-29. New York: The H.W. Wilson Company, 1988.
148 Has been nominated or won 136 awards, more than Charles Chaplin, Buster Keaton, and Harold Lloyd combined.
149 Was voted the 19th greatest director of all time by Entertainment Weekly.
150 Son of bookkeeper Martin Konigsberg (December 25, 1900-January 13, 2001) and his wife Nettie Konigsberg (November 8, 1906-January 27, 2002).
151 Graduated from Midwood High School at Brooklyn College.
152 Legally changed his name to Heywood Allen. Goes by "Woody" in honor of Woody Herman.
153 In addition to being a comedian, musician and filmmaker, he is also a respected playwright.
154 After completing his first musical, Everyone Says I Love You (1996), he stated that he'd like to do another in the future with an all-original score. Since making that statement, however, nothing has yet to materialize.
155 He has more Academy Award nominations (16) for writing than anyone else, all of them are in the Written Directly for the Screen category.
156 Attended the Cannes Film Festival for the first time to receive the Palm of Palms award for lifetime achievement (2002).
157 Wrote the concept for the film Hollywood Ending (2002) on the back of a matchbook. Years later, he found the matchbook with the notes for the film on it and made the film.
158 Made his first appearance at the Oscars in Hollywood to make a plea for producers to continue filming their movies in New York after the 9/11 tragedy (2002).
159 Despite the advancement of sound technology, all of his films are mixed and released in monaural sound, although later ones have a mono Dolby Digital mix.
160 Born at 10:55 PM EST.
161 Accused British interviewer Michael Parkinson of having a morbid interest in his private life and rejected questions about the custody battle for his children during his appearance on the BBC's Parkinson (1971) in 1999.
162 One of the most prolific American directors of his generation, he has written, directed, and more often than not starred in a film just about every year since 1969.
163 Among his biggest idols are Ingmar Bergman, Groucho Marx, Federico Fellini, Cole Porter, and Anton Chekhov.
164 Was once invited to appear with the Royal Shakespeare Company. Stanley Kubrick also considered casting him in Sydney Pollack's part in Eyes Wide Shut (1999).
165 Older brother of Letty Aronson.
166 Adopted his second daughter Manzie Tio Allen, named after Manzie Johnson, a drummer with Sidney Bechet's band, after she had been born in Texas. (February 2000).
167 Chosen by Empire magazine as one of the 100 Sexiest Stars in film history (#89) (1995).
168 He loves Venice, and helped to raise funds to rebuild the Venetian theater La Fenice, which was destroyed by a fire.
169 Suspended from New York University.
170 He and former lover Mia Farrow had three children: Moses Farrow (adopted son, aka Misha), Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow (adopted daughter, aka Mallone), and Satchel Farrow (biological son, b. 1988, aka Ronan).
171 Refuses to watch any of his movies once released.
172 Speaks French.
173 Ranked #43 in Empire (UK) magazine's Top 100 Movie Stars of All Time list (October 1997).
174 His adopted daughter Bechet Dumaine, named after Sidney Bechet, was born in December 1998.

#Quote
1 [2015 Cannes Film Festival, when asked if he had seen Cate Blanchett since Blue Jasmine (2013) and his relationship with his casts after filming] I have not seen or spoken to Cate since that movie. You know, it's very professional. Emma (Stone) and I did a movie a couple of years ago, and then afterward we did another movie, but, you know, people go their separate ways after a film and it's all very, very professional. You come in, you shoot the film and then on the last day of filming, everybody is very teary and you're not going to see the people anymore, but then you go off and you get on with your life, so I have not seen Cate or spoken with Cate since that picture was over.
2 When I made Stardust Memories (1980), it was my own personal favorite film that I had made till that time. It was the first film I had made that I really got rapped on because people - and this may have been my lack of skill, I don't know - felt that what I was saying in the film was that my audience are fools for liking me, that I was demeaning the audience, when that's not what I was doing. I'd never felt that way about the audience, and if I did feel that way I would have been too smart to put it in a movie or anything like that, it was just the furthest thing from my mind - it would not have occurred to me. But through my lack of skill, I managed to convey that other thought and not my intended thought to the audience. The business about "I like your early, funny movies" was just one of the things that occurred to me that I used - it didn't have extra meaning or particular personal meaning, it was just something that occurred to me that I thought was amusing, but no more amusing than the other things that people were asking for and so I used it and it rang a bell with people. They thought the character was me, that I was that character, that I didn't like making comedies, that I thought they were foolish for liking the comedies, but of course none of this had even occurred to me - I feel fine with my early, funny movies: Bananas (1971) and Take the Money and Run (1969) - they were fun to make.
3 [on directing Joaquin Phoenix] He's full of emotion and agony. If he says, "Pass the salt", it's like the scene where Oedipus puts out his eyes.
4 When I see cool films, no matter how beautiful they are, there's something off-putting about them. I have all my characters - or 99% of the characters - dress in autumnal clothes, beiges, and browns, and yellows, and greens. And I have Santo Loquasto make the sets look as warm as possible. And I like the lighting to be very warm, and I color-correct things so that they're very red. When Darius Khondji was color-correcting Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011), we went all out and made it red, red, red in color-correction. It makes it like a Matisse. Matisse said that he wanted his paintings to be a nice easy chair that you sit down in, and enjoy. I feel the same way: I want you to sit back, relax and enjoy the warm color, like take a bath in warm color. It's like how I play the clarinet with a big, fat, warm tone as opposed to a cool sound that's more liquid, or fluid. I prefer a thicker, richer, warmer sound. The same with color; I feel it has a subliminal effect on the viewer in a positive way.
5 [Asked in a 2008 interview with "Moving Pictures Magazine" why he called himself Heywood or Woody] It was just arbitrary, just came out of a hat to function for the occasion. It had no meaning whatsoever. It was just arbitrary anonymity that I wanted.
6 I told him to go forth and multiply, but not in so many words.
7 [at the premiere of Cassandra's Dream (2007) at the 2007 Toronto International Film Festival, before showing the movie] Thank you all very much. I hope you enjoy this film, we had a lot of fun making it, and I just hope you have a good time watching it. So sit back and, you know, give it your best shot and if we ever meet again, be kind.
8 I'm very nice to all the actors, and I never raise my voice. I give them a lot of freedom to work, to change my words, and they see in five minutes that I'm not a threat. That they're not gonna have to worry. They are not dealing with some kind of cult genius or some kind of formidable person. Or someone who's a temper tantrum person. You know, they see right away that this guy is going to be a pushover for me. And I am.
9 If I had my life to live over I would do everything the exact same way - except with the possible exception of seeing the movie remake of Lost Horizon (1937).
10 I never see a frame of anything I've done after I've done it. I don't even remember what's in the films. And if I'm on the treadmill and I'm surfing the channels and suddenly Manhattan (1979) or some other picture comes on, I go right past it. If I saw Manhattan again, I would only see the worst. I would say: "Oh, God, this is so embarrassing. I could have done this. I should have done that." So I spare myself.
11 [on his fear of flying] It's something I'm not thrilled with. I'm always sitting in my seat bracing for the crashing of the plane, but I can't avoid flying because if I don't fly I can't go to places to shoot a film or do promotion for it. And since my wife doesn't have any phobias, she has no fear of flying, nor do my children, so I fly to accommodate them, but it's very difficult for me and always with clenched fists.
12 I've never thought of myself as an actor. I could never play Chekhov or a big range of characters but there are one or two things I can do: I can play a bookmaker or a low-life agent like in Broadway Danny Rose (1984), or because I look scholarly - although I'm not - I can play some kind of intellectual and get away with it. I have no method whatsoever and I don't rehearse or practice and I never took a lesson. It's just a very limited thing I can do and if there's a need for that sort of character you can hire me and I'll do it, but if there's a need for something more complex then you get Dustin Hoffman.
13 [In 2012]: I always wanted to be a foreign filmmaker. But I'm from Brooklyn so I couldn't be because I wasn't foreign. But all of a sudden, through happy accidents, I've become one, to such a degree that I'm even writing subtitles. So I'm thrilled with that. The language is never a problem because when you're making a movie there are only a few things you ever talk about and you learn them right away. I did three pictures with a Chinese cameraman who didn't speak a word of English - not a word. And it didn't matter at all because we were only talking about the lighting and the angle.
14 [on shooting To Rome with Love (2012) in 2011] I had been speaking to the Italian people for years about doing a film there and when they said they'd finance it of course I was happy to shoot it there. I felt it lent itself to so many diverse tales. If you stop a hundred Romans they'll tell you: "I'm from the city, I know it well and I could give you a million stories."
15 Europeans started to finance my films very, very generously, and they did so under my rules, which means they don't interfere with me in any way, they don't read my scripts, they don't know what I'm doing and they just have faith that I'll make a film that won't embarrass anyone. It started off in London in 2004 with Match Point (2005) and then I kept going.
16 [In 2012] I make films for literate people. I have to assume there are many millions of people in the world who are educated and literate and want sophisticated entertainment that does not cater to the lowest common denominator and is not all about car crashes and bathroom jokes.
17 [Los Angeles] is not a city I could ever live in because I'm not temperamentally suited to the lifestyle here. I could never survive getting up in the morning and seeing all that sunshine and having to get into a car to go anywhere. But I have lots of friends here and I enjoy coming out for a couple of days, eating at a couple of great restaurants, having some laughs and then going home.
18 Believe it or not, there are many terrible things about being famous and many wonderful things, too. In the end, the good things are better than the bad, so if you have the chance, it's better to be famous.
19 My parents both lived to ripe old ages but absolutely refused to pass their genes to me as they believed an inheritance often spoils the child.
20 I am not a hypochondriac but a totally different genus of crackpot.
21 There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
22 I'm very happy doing films. I wrote a novel, but it didn't come out well and I put it away. I would like to write for the theatre again, and I will continue to write for The New Yorker. But I don't have to knock myself out to do one film a year - a year's a long time to make a film. I don't make these films like, say, Steven Spielberg, where I take three years and a hundred million dollars. My films are much less ambitious. It's easy for me. I finish a film and I'm sitting around the house and have other ideas; I get them together and I write them. I don't require much money to make a film, so it's not hard for me to get funded. And I'm a good bet for an investor, because I work fast and inexpensively. And when the film is released, before you know it, the small amount that it cost, they've made back. Then once in a while, if I hit one that is popular - like Match Point (2005), which made a hundred million dollars - then everybody makes a lot of money on it. Everybody except me. [2011]
23 Editing is that moment when you give up every hope you have of making a great piece of art and you have to settle with what you have.
24 I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me; I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
25 [The French] think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses, and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
26 Making films is a very nice way to make a living. You work with beautiful women, and charming men, who are amusing and gifted; you work with art directors and costume people ... you travel places, and the money's good. It's a nice living.
27 [European backers support me when Americans won't] You'd think that after a hit like Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011) - made a lot of money, not by The Dark Knight (2008) standards, but by my standards - there would be some companies that would want to do a film with you. But I didn't get a single offer. Not one ... and then an Italian company I'd been talking to for years was willing to put up money.
28 If you're a celebrity, you can get good medical treatment. I can get a doctor on the weekends. I can get the results of my biopsy quickly.
29 [Ageing] is a bad business. It's a confirmation that the anxieties and terrors I've had all my life were accurate. There's no advantage to ageing. You don't get wiser, you don't get more mellow, you don't see life in a more glowing way. You have to fight your body decaying, and you have less options. The only thing you can do is what you did when you were 20 - because you're always walking with an abyss right under your feet; they can be hoisting a piano on Park Avenue and drop it on your head when you're 20 - which is to distract yourself. Getting involved in a movie [occupies] all my anxiety: did I write a good scene for Cate Blanchett? If I wasn't concentrated on that, I'd be thinking of larger issues. And those are unresolvable, and you're checkmated whichever way you go.
30 To have been the lead character in a juicy scandal - a really juicy scandal - that will always be a part of what people think of when they think of me. It doesn't bother me. It doesn't please me. It's a non-factor. But it's a true factor.
31 My experience has been, with one exception [Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011)], that when I do a film in a foreign country, the toughest audience for me is that country. In Italy, they said: 'This guy doesn't understand Italy.' And I can't argue with those criticisms. I'm an American, and that's how I see Barcelona or Rome or England. If the situation was reversed, and somebody from a foreign country made a film here, I might very well be saying: 'Yeah, it's OK, but this guy really doesn't get New York.' And I'd be right. And I'm sure they're right.
32 I have an idea for a story, and I think to myself, "my God, this is a combination of Eugene O'Neill, and Tennessee Williams, and Arthur Miller" ... but that's because [when you're writing] you don't have to face the test of reality. You're at home, in your house, it's all in your mind. Now, when it's almost over, and I see what I've got, I start to think: "what have I done? This is going to be such an embarrassment! Can I salvage it?" All your grandiose ideas go out the window. You realise you made a catastrophe, and you think: "what if I put the last scene first, drop this character, put in narration? What if I shoot one more scene, to make him not leave his wife, but kill his wife?" [But nine times out of ten, after the screening of the first rough cut,] the feeling is: "OK, now don't panic." The other 10% of the time, it's: "OK. That's not as bad as I thought."
33 I'm just trying to be objective and honest. If you were having a 10-film festival and showing Citizen Kane (1941) on Monday, Rashomon (1950) on Tuesday, Bicycle Thieves (1948), The Seventh Seal (1957) ... I don't think anything I've ever made could be placed in a festival with those films and hold its own.
34 There are lots of nice advantages that you get, being a celebrity. The tabloid things, the bumps in the road, they come and they go. Most people don't have as big a bump as I had, but even the big bump - it's not life-threatening. It's not like the doctor's saying: 'I looked at these x-rays of your brain, and there's this little thing growing there.' Tabloid things can be handled. I just don't want a shadow on my lung on the x-ray.
35 I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history; Charlie Chaplin (Charles Chaplin), Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
36 What you're left with, in the end, are very grisly, unpleasant facts. You can't avoid them, you can't escape them. The best you can do, as far as I see it at the moment - maybe I'll get some other insight someday - is distract. I work all the time, I plunge myself into trivial problems, problems that are not life-threatening: How I'm going to work my third act, or can I get this actress to be in the movie, or am I over budget? These are my problems that obsess me, so I don't sit home and think about the fact that the universe is flying apart at breakneck speed as we're sitting here.
37 I have a very pessimistic view of everything. Obviously, I'm not a religious person, and I don't have any respect for the religious point of view. I tolerate it, but I find it a mindless grasp of life. [It's] the same thing with the philosophers who tell you that the meaning of life consists of what meaning you give it. I don't buy that, either. It's very unsatisfying.
38 I've shown the older one, [daughter] Bechet, a number of Alfred Hitchcock movies, and I've shown them both [daughters] a couple of The Marx Brothers movies. But they're not that interested ... I try to encourage them musically and guide them cinematically, but my opinion ... I represent the Old World, the Europe from which they took boats to escape.
39 My own feeling was always [that] I was totally uninterested in what anyone thought. I loved Soon-Yi Previn and it was a serious thing, not frivolous. We've been together for years, and it's been, on a personal basis, the best years of my life, really. And certainly the best of hers - not because of my scintillating personality, but it really brought her out of herself. She really had a chance to get into the world.
40 [I'm] depressed on a low flame.
41 It isn't just psychological, when you're getting closer to death that time passes faster. I think something happens physiologically so that you experience time in a very different way ... It's also scary, as you'll see when you get older. It doesn't get better. You don't mellow, you don't gain wisdom and insight. You start to experience joint pain.
42 [on "Ozymandias melancholia," a term for the sense of inevitable decline which he first coined in Stardust Memories (1980)] It's a phenomenon that I think everybody gets afflicted with, certainly the poet [Percy Bysshe Shelley] did, but I get afflicted with it. And you feel it really very much in Rome, because you see those ancient ruins and you're hyper-aware of the fact that thousands of yeas ago, there was a civilization that was mighty, the most dominant civilization in the world, and how glorious it must have been. And now it's a couple of bricks here and a couple of bricks there, and someone's sitting on the bricks eating their sandwich.
43 For me, success is, I'm in my bedroom at home and get an idea and I think it's a great idea and then I write it, and I look at the script and I say, 'My God, I've written a good script here.' And then I execute it. And if I execute the thing properly, then I feel great. If people come, it's a delightful bonus.
44 [American financiers] don't like to work the way I like to work. They like to read the script and have some input. They want to say, 'Well, we'll let you cast who you want, but if you can get Brad Pitt, we'd much prefer you got him.' ... We don't do that, though. We don't let them see the script, or have anything to say. So I have a lot of trouble raising money in this country.
45 That, or anything I ever won, has never changed my life one iota. And the fact that Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011) made $160 million meant zero in terms of anyone - and by anyone I mean no one - stepping forward and saying, 'We'd like to bankroll your next film.'
46 [on why he always skips the Oscars] They always have it on Sunday night. And it's always - you can look this up - it's always opposite a good basketball game. And I'm a big basketball fan. So it's a great pleasure for me to come home and get into bed and watch a basketball game. And that's exactly where I was, watching the game.
47 I'm not as crazy as they [fans who meet me] think I am. They think I'm a major neurotic and that I'm phobic and incompetent and I'm not. I'm very average, middle class. I get up in the morning, I have a wife and kids, I work, I've been productive, I practice my horn, I go to ballgames, it's a normal kind of thing. I have some quirks, but everybody has some quirks.
48 [on playing his screen persona] It's effortless. It's the only thing I can do. I'm not an actor. I can't play Chekhov, I can't play Shakespeare or Strindberg. I can do that thing that I do. There's a few different kinds of things I can act credibly. I can play an intellectual or a low-life.
49 I finished writing the script [for To Rome with Love (2012)] and saw that there was a part that I could play. I never force it. I never write something for myself. I'm trying to be faithful to the idea. If I had made To Rome with Love in the United States, I could have played Roberto Benigni's part. If I was fifty years younger, I would have played Jesse Eisenberg's part. Right now, I'm reduced to fathers of fiancees.
50 Life is full of misery, loneliness and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
51 [To Stu Hample on developing the comic strip "Inside Woody Allen"] Need more character engagement - instead of jokes being free-floating, they must be jokes on the way to character development. Jokes are like the decorations on the Christmas tree - but it's a beautiful tree you need to start with. Only then can you hang baubles on it. (Sorry for the disgusting metaphor.)
52 [Directing']s a great loafer's job. Much less stressful than if I were running around delivering chicken sandwiches in a deli somewhere.
53 My sets are boring. Nothing exciting ever happens, and I barely talk to the actors.
54 [on Anything Else (2003)] The cast is wonderful and I thought it was an interesting story and full of good jokes and good ideas. Somebody said it summed up everything that I always say in movies - they were saying this positively - and maybe it did and that was a negative for me. I don't know. I had screening of it and people seemed to love it. Again, it was one of those pictures that nobody came to. You know, a lot of it is the luck of the draw with someone like me. I'm review-dependent. You hit a guy who likes the film and writes a good review of it, it might possibly do business. The exact same film, if that reviewer's sick that day and the other critic on the paper doesn't like it, then it doesn't do business. There are many, many people making films who are not review-dependent and it doesn't matter what anybody says about them, they have an audience. I only have to mention Spider-Man (2002). With me, it depends who's writing the review. But I did think Anything Else was a funny movie. I thought it was a good movie. I was crazy about Christina [Ricci], and Jason [Biggs] was adorable and Stockard Channing is always a really strong actress.
55 [on Shadows and Fog (1991)] I think I did a good job directing it and Santo Loquasto's sets are beautiful. But the picture is in the writing and people weren't interested in the story. You know when you're doing a black-and-white picture that takes place in a European city at night in the twenties, you're not going to make big bucks. Nobody liked the picture. Carlo Di Palma won an award for it in Italy. It just looked great. There was pleasure in the way it was photographed, and in making it. I make these films to amuse myself, or should I say to distract myself. I wanted to see what it would be like making a film all on a set, outdoors being indoors. And setting it during one night and having all these characters and this old European quality to it. The hope is that others will enjoy it when I'm finished. It fulfilled that desire that keeps me working, that keeps me in the film business. I do all my films for my own personal reasons, and I hope that people will like them and I'm always gratified when I hear they do. But if they don't, there's nothing I can do about that because I don't set out to make them for approval - I like approval, but I don't make them for approval.
56 [on Stardust Memories (1980)] I wanted to make a stylish film. Gordon Willis and I liked to work in black and white and I wanted to make a picture about an artist who theoretically should be happy. He has everything in the world - health, success, wealth, notoriety - but in fact he doesn't have anything, he's very unhappy. The point of the story is that he can't get used to the fact that he's mortal and that all his wealth and fame and adulation are not going to preserve him in any meaningful way - he, too, will age and die. At the beginning of the movie you see him wanting to make a serious statement even though he is really a comic filmmaker. Of course, this part is naturally identified with me even though the tale is total fabrication. I never had the feelings of the protagonist in real life. When I made Stardust Memories I didn't feel I was a much adored filmmaker whose life was miserable and all around me things were terrible. I thought I was a respectable moviemaker and the perks of success - as I said in my film Celebrity (1998) - actually outweighed the downside. I was never blocked, conflicted much, or steeped in gloom - though I often played that character. I did it again later in Deconstructing Harry (1997). That character is also a writer but nothing like me. I wanted to make Stardust Memoies stylish. It's a dream film; the attempt is poetic. I'm not saying it comes off but the intent is poetic, so you're not locked in to a realistic story. You could certainly tell a realistic story about a guy who has everything and is unhappy but I was trying to do it on a more fantastic level. I feel if you give the film a chance, there are some rewards in it. It's dense. I haven't seen it in many years, but when I finished it I was very satisfied with it and it was my favorite film to that time.
57 I've always felt close to a European sensibility. It's a happy accident: when I was a young man and most impressionable, all these great European films were flooding New York City. I was very influenced by those films. I comes out in my work without trying to. It's like if you grow up hearing Mozart your whole life at home and you start to write music, probably what comes out - until you develop your own style - is an imitation of Mozart, to some degree. And that's what happened with me and films. I've very often relied on European cinema as a crutch or as a guide. The films I grew up with - Bergman and Fellini and Kurosawa and De Sica and Antonioni - just left an indelible mark on me. It's the same with certain American films that impressed me as a young boy, like The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948) and Citizen Kane (1941) and Double Indemnity (1944). There have been very few American films since that have equalled the impact those films had on me, because I do think the time you see them figures into it. Consequently my films have been well appreciated in Europe, more than the United States, where it's been so-so.
58 Not only does my play have no redeeming social value, it has no entertainment value. I wrote this sprightly little one-acter only to test out my new paper shredder. If there is any positive message at all in the narrative, it is that life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
59 I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
60 My films have developed over the years. They've gone from films that started out as strips of jokes and funny gags to more character-oriented things - slightly deeper stories where I've sacrificed some laughs. And sometimes I've tried to make serious pictures without any laughs at all. You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010) is probably a film I wouldn't have been able to make 20 years ago, because I feel I wouldn't have had the depth to make it. I'm forever pessimistic about everything in life, except my work. I feel that my best work is still to come, and I keep working and trying. It may be foolish and misplaced optimism, but nevertheless I'm optimistic. I feel I've always progressed. I've always made the film I wanted to make that year, and the films I made later were better than the ones I made earlier. Manhattan (1979) and Annie Hall (1977) were quite popular, but they were not as good as, say, Match Point (2005), which was a better film than both of those films. Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011) I think will be seen as a better film. Viki, Kristina, Barselona (2008) is a better film than those I made years ago. But it's capricious. I get an idea for a film and I do it, and if I'm right in my judgment, and in execution, then the film turns out to be a good film, a step forward. If I guessed wrong and I thought the idea was wonderful and it's really not, or I execute badly, then the film is not such a good film. But it doesn't have anything to do with the chronology. [2011]
61 [on the controversy surrounding his marriage to Soon-Yi] What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now. There was no scandal, but people refer to it all the time as a scandal. I kind of like that in a way because when I go I would like to say I had one juicy scandal in my life.
62 If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
63 Well, I'm against [the aging process]. I think it has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again. I've experienced that thing where you wake up in the middle of the night and you start to think about your own mortality and envision it, and it gives you a little shiver. That's what happens to Anthony Hopkins at the beginning of [You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010)], and from then on in, he did not want to hear from his more realistic wife, "Oh, you can't keep doing that - you're not young anymore." Yes, she's right, but nobody wants to hear that.
64 To me, there's no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They're all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.
65 [on why he chose in 2010 to read his short stories for Adiobook]: I was persuaded in a moment of apathy when I was convinced I had a fatal illness and would not live much longer. I don't own a computer, have no idea how to work one, don't own a word processor, and have zero interest in technology. Many people thought it would be a nice idea for me to read my stories, and I gave in.
66 I can only hope that reading out loud does not contribute to the demise of literature, which I don't think will ever happen. When I grew up, one could always hear T.S. Eliot, William Butler Yeats, S.J. Perelman and a host of others read on the Caedmon label, and it was its own little treat that in no way encroached on the pleasure of reading these people.
67 Sarah Palin is a colourful spice in the general recipe of democracy. She's a sexy woman. Yes. Me and Sarah - we could do a romance.
68 Like Boris [from Whatever Works (2009)] I fight it all the time. I've always been lucky: I've never experienced depression. I get sad and blue, but within a certain limit. I've always been able to work freely, to play my clarinet and enjoy women and sport - although I am always aware of the fact that I am operating within a nightmarish context that life itself is a cruel, meaningless, terrible kind of thing. God forbid the people who have bad luck, or even neutral luck, because even the luckiest, the most beautiful and brilliant, what have they got? A minuscule, meaningless life span in the grand scheme of things.
69 [on his character Mickey's personal crisis in Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)]: I think it should be interpreted to mean that there are these oases, and life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.... I feel that one can come up with all these rationalizations and seemingly astute observations, but I think I said it well at the end of Deconstructing Harry (1997): we all know the same truth; our lives consist of how we choose to distort it, and that's it. Everybody knows how awful the world is and what a terrible situation it is and each person distorts it in a certain way that enables him to get through. Some people distort it with religious things. Some people distort it with sports, with money, with love, with art, and they all have their own nonsense about what makes it meaningful, and all but nothing makes it meaningful. These things definitely serve a certain function, but in the end they all fail to give life meaning and everyone goes to his grave in a meaningless way.
70 I feel that is true-that one can commit a crime, do unspeakable things, and get away with it. There are people who commit all sorts of crimes and get away with it, and some of them are plagued with all sorts of guilt for the rest of their lives and others aren't. They commit terrible crimes and they have wonderful lives, wonderful, happy lives, with families and children, and they have done unspeakably terrible things. There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.... Some people cope better than others. I was with Billy Graham once, and he said that even if it turned out in the end that there is no God and the universe is empty, he would still have had a better life than me. I understand that. If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life.
71 I didn't see Shane (1953) as a martyred figure, a persecuted figure. I saw him as quite a heroic figure who does a job that needs to be done, a practical matter. I saw him as a practical secular character. In this world there are just some people who need killing and that is just the way it is. It sounds terrible, but there is no other way to get around that, and most of us are not up to doing it, incapable for moral reasons or physically not up to it. And Shane (1953) is a person who saw what had to be done and went out and did it. He had the skill to do it, and that's the way I feel about the world: there are certain problems that can only be dealt with that way. As ugly a truth as that is, I do think it's the truth about the world.
72 [the existence of God, life after death, the meaning of life] were always obsessions of mine, even as a very young child. These were things that interested me as the years went on. My friends were more preoccupied with social issues-issues such as abortion, racial discrimination, and Communism-and those issues just never caught my interest. Of course they mattered to me as a citizen to some degree...but they never really caught my attention artistically. I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues-that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs. There was a difference, of course, but it was a minor difference as to who the president was and what the issues were. They seemed major, but as you step back with perspective they were more alike than they were different. The deeper issues always interested me.
73 I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly. I was just doing what I was doing because it interested me, and in fact obsessed me. I was not doing it with an eye to manipulate the public. In fact, I probably would have had a larger public if I had gone in a different direction.
74 You want some kind of relief from the agony and terror of human existence. Human existence is a brutal experience to me...it's a brutal, meaningless experience-an agonizing, meaningless experience with some oases, delight, some charm and peace, but these are just small oases. Overall, it is a brutal, brutal, terrible experience, and so it's what can you do to alleviate the agony of the human condition, the human predicament? That is what interests me the most. I continue to make the films because the problem obsesses me all the time and it's consistently on my mind and I'm consistently trying to alleviate the problem, and I think by making films as frequently as I do I get a chance to vent the problems. There is some relief. I have said this before in a facetious way, but it is not so facetious: I am a whiner. I do get a certain amount of solace from whining.
75 I think what I'm saying is that I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and that the only thing I can do is my little gift and do it the best I can, and that is about the best I can do, which is cold comfort.
76 Whenever they ask women what they find appealing in men, a sense of humor is always one of the things they mention. Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them. So I'm saying to that character played by Goldie Hawn, "Why is that so important?" But it is important apparently because women have said to us that that is very, very important to them. I also feel that humor, just like Fred Astaire dance numbers or these lightweight musicals give you a little oasis. You are in this horrible world and for an hour and a half you duck into a dark room and it's air-conditioned and the sun is not blinding you and you leave the terror of the universe behind and you are completely transported into an escapist situation. The women are beautiful, the men are witty and heroic, nobody has terrible problems and this is a delightful escapist thing, and you leave the theatre refreshed. It's like drinking a cool lemonade and then after a while you get worn down again and you need it again. It seems to me that making escapist films might be a better service to people than making intellectual ones and making films that deal with issues. It might be better to just make escapist comedies that don't touch on any issues. The people just get a cool lemonade, and then they go out refreshed, they enjoy themselves, they forget how awful things are and it helps them-it strengthens them to get through the day. So I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
77 [on Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)] Everything wonderful about that movie... is because of the way it was directed. Otherwise, I thought there were flaws in the writing of the movie and flaws in some of the performances of the movie. But the directing of the movie was so bravura and so superb, that it was just a knockout.
78 The biggest personal shock to me of all the movies that I've done is that Hollywood Ending (2002) was not thought of as a first-rate, extraordinary comedy. I was stunned that it met with any resistance at all. I thought it was a very, very funny idea and I thought that I executed it absolutely fine, and that I was funny and that Téa Leoni was great. I thought it was a simple, funny idea that worked. I didn't think I blew it anywhere along the line - in performance, in shooting it, in the jokes, situations. When I showed it to the first couple of people, film writers, they said, "This is just great. This is one of the funniest movies you've done." But that's not what the subsequent reactions were. And I was so shocked. I generally don't love my own finished product but this one I did. I don't think many people would, but I would put it toward the top of my comedies. The audience didn't show up. I think if people had gone to see it they would have enjoyed it. But they didn't go to see it.
79 [on Ingmar Bergman] He and I had dinner in his New York hotel suite; it was a great treat for me. I was nervous and really didn't want to go. But he was not at all what you might expect: the formidable, dark, brooding genius. He was a regular guy. He commiserated with me about low box-office grosses and women and having to put up with studios. The world saw him as a genius, and he was worrying about the weekend grosses. Yet he was plain and colloquial in speech, not full of profound pronunciamentos about life. Sven Nykvist told me that when they were doing all those scenes about death and dying, they'd be cracking jokes and gossiping about the actors' sex lives. I liked his attitude that a film is not an event you make a big deal out of. He felt filmmaking was just a group of people working. I copied some of that from him. At times he made two and three films in a year. He worked very fast; he'd shoot seven or eight pages of script at a time. They didn't have the money to do anything else. I think his films have eternal relevance, because they deal with the difficulty of personal relationships and lack of communication between people and religious aspirations and mortality, existential themes that will be relevant a thousand years from now. When many of the things that are successful and trendy today will have been long relegated to musty-looking antiques, his stuff will still be great.
80 [on Michelangelo Antonioni] I knew him slightly and spent some time with him. He was thin as a wire and athletic and energetic and mentally alert. And he was a wonderful ping-pong player. I played with him; he always won because he had a great reach. That was his game.
81 [on Shelley Duvall] She's a true one of a kind. She's so effective on the screen, that if she's cast properly, she's incapable of being anything else but fascinating.
82 Retire and do what? I'd be doing the same thing as I do now: sitting at home writing a play, then characters, jokes and situations would come to me. So I don't know what else I would do with my time.
83 If they said to me tomorrow, "We're pulling the plug and we're not giving you any more money to make films," that would not bother me in the slightest. I mean, I'm happy to write for the theatre. And if they wouldn't back any of my plays, I'm happy to sit home and write prose. But as long as there are people willing to put up the vast sums of money needed to make films, I should take advantage of it. Because there will come a time when they won't.
84 I've never, ever in my life had any interference. I've always had final cut, no-one saw scripts, no-one saw casting. So since Take the Money and Run (1969), I've been spoiled. But recently, at about the time of Match Point (2005), the studios began to behave differently. They started to say, "Look, we like to make films with you and we'll give you the money, but we don't want to be treated as if we're just a bank, putting money in a bag and then just going away. You'll still have final cut and all of that, but we would like to see a script, know who you're casting and be involved in some way." I feel that this is a completely reasonable request, but I just wasn't used to working that way, so I went over to Europe. There's no studio system, so they don't care about any of that stuff. They're bankers. And they're happy to be bankers. They put up the money, you give them the film, and that's what they care about. That worked very well for me on Match Point (2005). So I did it again with Scoop (2006) and Cassandra's Dream (2007). And I made Viki, Kristina, Barselona (2008) in Spain under the same circumstances.
85 I'm kind of, secretly, in the back of my mind, counting on living a long time. My father lived to a hundred. My mother lived to 95, almost 96. If there is anything to heredity, I should be able to make films for another 17 years. You never know. A piano could drop on my head. (December 2005)
86 [on his least favorite of his own films, Manhattan (1979)] I hated that one. I even made Stardust Memories (1980) for United Artists just so Manhattan would stay on the shelf. And even after those efforts, I still can't believe even to this day how it became so commercially successful. I can't believe I got away with it.
87 [on Match Point (2005)] To me, it is strictly about luck. Life is such a terrifying experience - it's very important to feel, "I don't believe in luck, Well, I make my luck." Well, the truth of the matter is, you don't make your luck. So I wanted to show that here was a guy - and I symbolically made him a tennis player - who's a pretty bad guy, and yet my feeling is, in life, if you get the breaks - if the luck bounces your way, you know - you can not only get by, you can flourish in the same way that I felt Marty Landau could in Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989). If you can kill somebody - if you have no moral sense - there's no God out there that's suddenly going to hit you with lightning. Because I don't believe in God. So this is what was on my mind: the enormous unfairness of the world, the enormous injustice of the world, the sense that every day people get away with the worst kinds of crimes. So it's a pessimistic film, in that sense.
88 I've been around a long time, and some people may just get tired of me, which I can understand. I've tried to keep my films different over the years, but it's like they complain, "We've eaten Chinese food every day this week." I want to say, "Well, yes, but you had a shrimp meal and you had a pork meal and you had a chicken meal." They say, "Yes, yes, but it's all Chinese food." That's the way I feel about myself. I have a certain amount of obsessive themes and a certain amount of things I'm interested in and no matter how different the film is, whether it's Small Time Crooks (2000) here or Zelig (1983) there, you find in the end that it's Chinese food. If you're not in the mood for my obsessions, then you may not be in the mood for my film. Now, hopefully, if I make enough films, some of them will come out fresh, but there's no guarantee. It's a crapshoot every time I make one. It could come out interesting or you might get the feeling that, God, I've heard this kvetch before - I don't know.
89 If I write a film and there is a part in it for me - great. But if I sit down in advance and think, "I'd like to be in this film," or "It's been a long time since I've been in a film so it would be fun to do one," then all of a sudden there's an enormous amount of limits and compromise. I can only play a few things so that compromises the idea instantly. I think Deconstructing Harry (1997) would have been better with Dustin Hoffman or Robert De Niro, for sure. I also tried very hard to get another actor to play the part I did in The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001). I think we tried to see if Tom Hanks was available, and Nicholson. Either they weren't available or didn't want to do it. So I finally played that part. And I shouldn't have, because it wasn't my usual kind of role, and I think that hurt the film.
90 I've never felt that if I waited five years between films, I'd make better ones. I just make one when I feel like making it. And it comes out to be about one a year. Some of them come out good, and some of them come out less than good. Some of them may be very good and some may be very bad. But I have no interest in an overall plan for them or anything.
91 [on 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)] It was one of the few times in my life that I realized that the artist was so much ahead of me.
92 I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
93 I never had a teacher who made the least impression on me and if you ask who are my heroes, the answer is simple and truthful: George S. Kaufman and the Marx Brothers.
94 It would be a disgrace and a humiliation if Barack Obama does not win... It would be a terrible thing if the American public was not moved to vote for him, that they actually preferred more of the same.
95 [on directing an opera] He [Plácido Domingo] said, "What if we do the Puccini trilogy - it's three one-acts that are always done together? The first two, Billy Friedkin will direct. You'll only be responsible for a one-act, a one-hour opera, and it's funny." You know, funny to opera people is not funny to the Marx Brothers.
96 [on directing the LA Opera, alongside William Friedkin] I figured, "Eh, I'll be dead before it happens. I'm 72. I'm never going to make it to the opera." But it came around, and next Monday, I start rehearsal. I'll just do the best I can and then get out of town and let them tar and feather Friedkin.
97 Ireland's one of the few places that lives up to the hype, that is as beautiful as everyone tells you it is.
98 I've made perfectly decent films, but not 8½ (1963), not The Seventh Seal (1957) ("The Seventh Seal"), The 400 Blows (1959) ("The 400 Blows") or L'Avventura (1960) - ones that to me really proclaim cinema as art, on the highest level. If I was the teacher, I'd give myself a B.
99 I once thought there was a good argument between whether it's worth it to make a film where you confront the human condition, or an escape film. You could argue that the Fred Astaire film is performing a greater service than the Bergman film, because Ingmar Bergman is dealing with a problem that you're never going to solve. Whereas 'Fred Astaire', you walk in off the street, and for an hour and half they're popping champagne corks and making light banter and you get refreshed, like a lemonade.
100 Your perception of time changes as you get older, because you see how brief everything is. You see how meaningless ... I don't want to depress you, but it's a meaningless little flicker.
101 I was never bothered if a film was not well received. But the converse of that is that I never get a lot of pleasure out of it if it is. So it isn't like you can say, 'He's an uncompromising artist.' That's not true. I'm a compromising person, definitely. It's that I don't get much from either side.
102 I can't really come up with a good argument to choose life over death. Except that I'm too scared.
103 My mother always said I was a very cheerful kid until I was 5 years old, and then I turned gloomy.
104 [Movies are a great diversion] because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
105 I do feel that in everyday life people on a great spectrum get away with crime all the time, ranging from genocide to just street crime. Most crimes do go unsolved, and people commit murders and ruin other people and do the worst things in the world, and, you know, there's no one to penalize you if you don't have a sense of conscience about it. There is an element in life of enormous, enormous injustice that we live with all the time. It's just an ugly-but-true fact of life.
106 [Responding to fans, skeptical of his plan to direct an opera] I have no idea what I am doing. But incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
107 Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
108 80% of success is showing up.
109 I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
110 I wasn't away. And I'm not back. Match Point (2005) was a film about luck, and it was a very lucky film for me. I did it the way I do all my pictures, and it just worked. I needed a rainy day, I got a rainy day. I needed sun, I got sun. Kate Winslet dropped out at the last moment because she wanted to be with her family, and Scarlett Johansson was available on two days' notice. It's like I couldn't ruin this picture no matter how hard I tried.
111 I never wanted movies to be an end. I wanted them to be a means so that I could have a decent life -- meet attractive women, go out on dates, live decently. Not opulently, but with some security. I feel the same way now. A guy like Steven Spielberg will go live in the desert to make a movie, or Martin Scorsese will make a picture in India and set up camp and live there for four months. I mean, for me, if I'm not shooting in my neighborhood, it's annoying. I have no commitment to my work in that sense. No dedication.
112 Stanley Kubrick was a great artist. I say this all the time and people think I'm being facetious. I'm not. Kubrick was a guy who obsessed over details and did 100 takes, and you know, I don't feel that way. If I'm shooting a film and it's 6 o'clock at night and I've got a take, and I think I might be able to get a better take if I stayed, but the Knicks tipoff is at 7:30, then that's it. The crews love working on my movies because they know they'll be home by 6.
113 For me, being famous didn't help me that much. It helped a little. Warren Beatty once said to me many years ago, being a star is like being in a whorehouse with a credit card, and I never found that. For me, it was like being in a whorehouse with a credit card that had expired.
114 I was thrown out of NYU [New York University] for cheating on my Metaphysics final. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
115 I'm a practicing heterosexual, although bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
116 It's true I had a lot of anxiety. I was afraid of the dark and suspicious of the light.
117 Organized crime in America takes in over $40 billion a year and spends very little on office supplies.
118 I don't believe in an afterlife, although I'm bringing along a change of underwear.
119 My brain: It's my second favorite organ.
120 Life is for the living.
121 Most of life is tragic. You're born, you don't know why. You're here, you don't know why. You go, you die. Your family dies. Your friends die. People suffer. People live in constant terror. The world is full of poverty and corruption and war and Nazis and tsunamis. The net result, the final count is, you lose - you don't beat the house.
122 Man was made in God's image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?
123 I always think it is a mistake to try and be young, because I feel the young people in the United States have not distinguished themselves. The young audience in the United States have not proven to me that they like good movies or good theatre. The films that are made for young people are not wonderful films, they are not thoughtful. They are these blockbusters with special effects. The comedies are dumb, full of toilet jokes, not sophisticated at all. And these are the things the young people embrace. I do not idolize the young.
124 With my complexion I don't tan, I stroke.
125 [on shooting in London, 2004] In the United States things have changed a lot, and it's hard to make good small films now. There was a time in the 1950s when I wanted to be a playwright, because until that time movies, which mostly came out of Hollywood, were stupid and not interesting. Then we started to get wonderful European films, and American films started to grow up a little bit, and the industry became more fun to work in than the theatre. I loved it. But now it's taken a turn in the other direction and studios are back in command and are not that interested in pictures that make only a little bit of money. When I was younger, every week we'd get a Federico Fellini or an Ingmar Bergman or a Jean-Luc Godard or François Truffaut, but now you almost never get any of that. Filmmakers like myself have a hard time. The avaricious studios couldn't care less about good films - if they get a good film they're twice as happy, but money-making films are their goal. They only want these $100-million pictures that make $500 million. That's why I'm happy to work in London, because I'm right back in the same kind of liberal creative attitude that I'm used to.
126 When I was in my early twenties, I knew a man who has since died, who was older than me and also very crazy. He'd been in a straitjacket and institutionalized, and I found him very brilliant. When I would speak to him about writing, about life, art, women, he was very, very cogent
  • but he couldn't lead his own life, he just couldn't manage.
127 I know it sounds horrible, but winning that Oscar for Annie Hall (1977) didn't mean anything to me.
128 I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
129 [on the Academy Awards circa 1978] They're political and bought and negotiated for - although many worthy people have deservedly won - and the whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.
130 Of course, I would love everybody to see my films. But I don't care enough ever to do anything about it. I would never change a word or make a movie that I thought they would like. I really don't care if they come or not. If they don't want to come, then they don't; if they do come, then great. Do I want to do what I do uncompromisingly, and would I love it if a big audience came? Yes, that would be very nice. I've never done anything to attract an audience, though I always get accused of it over the years.
131 The sensibility of the film-maker infuses the project so people see a picture like Annie Hall (1977) and everyone thinks it's so autobiographical. But I was not from Coney Island, I was not born under a Ferris wheel, my father never worked at a place that had bumper cars, that's not how I met Diane Keaton, and that's not how we broke up. Of course, there's that character who's always beleaguered and harassed. Certain things are autobiographical, certain feelings, even occasionally an incident, but overwhelmingly they're totally made up, completely fabricated.
132 I can bring stars, I've worked with terrific cameramen, but people still have a better chance of making their $150m films because they're not interested in the kind of profits I can bring if I'm profitable.
133 The biggest flaw in being self-taught is there are gaps. You self-teach yourself something and you think you know something fairly well, but then there are gaps a university teacher would have taught you as part of a mandatory program. I would probably have been better off if I'd got a better general education, but I was just so bored.
134 I was just a poor student. I had no interest in it. When I make a film the tacit contract with the audience is that I will give them some entertainment and not bore them. I have to do that. I just lay a message on them. Great filmmakers, like Ingmar Bergman or Akira Kurosawa or Federico Fellini, they're very entertaining, their films are fun. Well, in college they never made it entertaining for me, they just bored me stiff.
135 When I was a kid, movies from Hollywood seemed very glamorous, but when you look back at them as a young man, you can see out of the thousands of films that came out of Hollywood there were really very few good ones statistically, and those few that were good were made in spite of the studios. I saw European films as a young man and they were very much better. There's no comparison.
136 I had a line in one of my movies - 'Everyone knows the same truth.' Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it. One person will distort it with a kind of wishful thinking like religion, someone else will distort it by thinking political solutions are going to do something, someone else will think a life of sensuality is going to do it, someone else will think art transcends. Art for me has always been the Catholicism of the intellectuals. There is no afterlife for the Catholics really, and there's no afterlife for the arts. 'Your painting lived on after you' - well, that doesn't really do it. That's not what you want. Even if your painting does have some longevity, eventually that's going to go. There won't be any works of William Shakespeare or Ludwig van Beethoven, or any theatre to see them in, or air or light. I've always felt you've got to live your life within the context of this worst-case scenario. Which is true; the worst-case scenario is here.
137 Hollywood for the most part aimed at the lowest common denominator. It's conceived in venality, it's motivated by pandering to the public, by making a lot of money. People like Ingmar Bergman thought about life, and they had feelings, and they wanted to dramatize them and engage one in a dialogue. I felt I couldn't easily be engaged by the nonsense that came out of Hollywood.
138 The directors that have personal, emotional feelings for me are Ingmar Bergman and Federico Fellini, and I'm sure there has been some influence but never a direct one. I never set out to try and do anything like them. But, you know, when you listen to a jazz musician like Charlie Parker for years and you love it, then you start to play an instrument, you automatically play like that at first, then you branch off with your own things. The influence is there, it's in your blood.
139 There was no ripple professionally for me at all when I was in the papers with my custody stuff. I made my films, I worked in the streets of New York, I played jazz every Monday night, I put a play on. Everything professionally went just the same. There were no repercussions. There was white-hot interest for a while, like with all things like that, and then it became uninteresting to people.
140 [on being nominated for an Oscar for Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)] You have to be sure to keep it very much in perspective. You think it's nice at the time because it means more money for your film, but as soon as you let yourself start thinking that way, something happens to the quality of the work.
141 [on the Academy Awards circa 1978] I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things -- or who doesn't win them -- you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
142 [About the audience] I never write down to them. I always assume that they're all as smart as I am . . . if not smarter.
143 [on why he never watches his own movies] I think I would hate them.
144 My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
145 Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
146 If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
147 To you, I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
148 If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
149 Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
150 Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill 'em.
151 The two biggest myths about me are that I'm an intellectual, because I wear these glasses, and that I'm an artist because my films lose money. Those two myths have been prevalent for many years.
152 My relationship with Hollywood isn't love-hate, it's love-contempt. I've never had to suffer any of the indignities that one associates with the studio system. I've always been independent in New York by sheer good luck. But I have an affection for Hollywood because I've had so much pleasure from films that have come out of there. Not a whole lot of them, but a certain amount of them have been very meaningful to me.
153 For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
154 If my film makes one more person miserable, I'll feel I've done my job.
155 [at the Academy Awards in 2002, explaining why he was the one introducing a montage of New York movies] And I said, 'You know, God, you can do much better than me. You know, you might want to get Martin Scorsese, or, or Mike Nichols, or Spike Lee, or Sidney Lumet...' I kept naming names, you know, and um, I said, 'Look, I've given you 15 names of guys who are more talented than I am, and, and smarter and classier...' And they said, 'Yes, but they weren't available.'
156 Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
157 I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.
158 Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
159 There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
160 Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
161 [on films] I can't imagine that the business should be run any other way than that the director has complete control of his films. My situation may be unique, but that doesn't speak well for the business -- it shouldn't be unique, because the director is the one who has the vision and he's the one who should put that vision onto film.
162 [when asked if he liked the idea of living on on the silver screen] I'd rather live on in my apartment.
163 On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
164 [in 1977] This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
165 I'm not afraid of dying... I just don't want to be there when it happens.
166 I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.
167 [on directing Joaquin Phoenix] He's full of emotion and agony. If he says, "Pass the salt" it's like the scene where Oedipus puts out his eyes.
168 When I see cool films, no matter how beautiful they are, there's something off-putting about them. I have all my characters - or 99% of the characters - dress in autumnal clothes, beiges, and browns, and yellows, and greens. And I have Santo Loquasto make the sets look as warm as possible. And I like the lighting to be very warm, and I color-correct things so that they're very red. When Darius Khondji was color-correcting Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011), we went all out and made it red, red, red in color-correction. It makes it like a Matisse. Matisse said that he wanted his paintings to be a nice easy chair that you sit down in, and enjoy. I feel the same way: I want you to sit back, relax and enjoy the warm color, like take a bath in warm color. It's like how I play the clarinet with a big, fat, warm tone as opposed to a cool sound that's more liquid, or fluid. I prefer a thicker, richer, warmer sound. The same with color; I feel it has a subliminal effect on the viewer in a positive way.
169 [Asked in a 2008 interview with "Moving Pictures Magazine" why he called himself Heywood or Woody] It was just arbitrary, just came out of a hat to function for the occasion. It had no meaning whatsoever. It was just arbitrary anonymity that I wanted.
170 I told him to go forth and multiply, but not in so many words.
171 [at the premiere of Cassandra's Dream (2007) at the 2007 Toronto International Film Festival, before showing the movie] Thank you all very much. I hope you enjoy this film, we had a lot of fun making it, and I just hope you have a good time watching it. So sit back and, you know, give it your best shot and if we ever meet again, be kind.
172 I'm very nice to all the actors, and I never raise my voice. I give them a lot of freedom to work, to change my words, and they see in five minutes that I'm not a threat. That they're not gonna have to worry. They are not dealing with some kind of cult genius or some kind of formidable person. Or someone who's a temper tantrum person. You know, they see right away that this guy is going to be a pushover for me. And I am.
173 If I had my life to live over I would do everything the exact same way - except with the possible exception of seeing the movie remake of Lost Horizon (1937).
174 I never see a frame of anything I've done after I've done it. I don't even remember what's in the films. And if I'm on the treadmill and I'm surfing the channels and suddenly Manhattan (1979) or some other picture comes on, I go right past it. If I saw Manhattan again, I would only see the worst. I would say: "Oh, God, this is so embarrassing. I could have done this. I should have done that." So I spare myself.
175 [on his fear of flying] It's something I'm not thrilled with. I'm always sitting in my seat bracing for the crashing of the plane, but I can't avoid flying because if I don't fly I can't go to places to shoot a film or do promotion for it. And since my wife doesn't have any phobias, she has no fear of flying, nor do my children, so I fly to accommodate them, but it's very difficult for me and always with clenched fists.
176 I've never thought of myself as an actor. I could never play Chekhov or a big range of characters but there are one or two things I can do: I can play a bookmaker or a low-life agent like in Broadway Danny Rose (1984), or because I look scholarly - although I'm not - I can play some kind of intellectual and get away with it. I have no method whatsoever and I don't rehearse or practice and I never took a lesson. It's just a very limited thing I can do and if there's a need for that sort of character you can hire me and I'll do it, but if there's a need for something more complex then you get Dustin Hoffman.
177 [In 2012]: I always wanted to be a foreign filmmaker. But I'm from Brooklyn so I couldn't be because I wasn't foreign. But all of a sudden, through happy accidents, I've become one, to such a degree that I'm even writing subtitles. So I'm thrilled with that. The language is never a problem because when you're making a movie there are only a few things you ever talk about and you learn them right away. I did three pictures with a Chinese cameraman who didn't speak a word of English - not a word. And it didn't matter at all because we were only talking about the lighting and the angle.
178 [on shooting To Rome with Love (2012) in 2011] I had been speaking to the Italian people for years about doing a film there and when they said they'd finance it of course I was happy to shoot it there. I felt it lent itself to so many diverse tales. If you stop a hundred Romans they'll tell you: "I'm from the city, I know it well and I could give you a million stories."
179 Europeans started to finance my films very, very generously, and they did so under my rules, which means they don't interfere with me in any way, they don't read my scripts, they don't know what I'm doing and they just have faith that I'll make a film that won't embarrass anyone. It started off in London in 2004 with Match Point (2005) and then I kept going.
180 [In 2012] I make films for literate people. I have to assume there are many millions of people in the world who are educated and literate and want sophisticated entertainment that does not cater to the lowest common denominator and is not all about car crashes and bathroom jokes.
181 [Los Angeles] is not a city I could ever live in because I'm not temperamentally suited to the lifestyle here. I could never survive getting up in the morning and seeing all that sunshine and having to get into a car to go anywhere. But I have lots of friends here and I enjoy coming out for a couple of days, eating at a couple of great restaurants, having some laughs and then going home.
182 Believe it or not, there are many terrible things about being famous and many wonderful things, too. In the end, the good things are better than the bad, so if you have the chance, it's better to be famous.
183 My parents both lived to ripe old ages but absolutely refused to pass their genes to me as they believed an inheritance often spoils the child.
184 I am not a hypochondriac but a totally different genus of crackpot.
185 There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
186 I'm very happy doing films. I wrote a novel, but it didn't come out well and I put it away. I would like to write for the theatre again, and I will continue to write for The New Yorker. But I don't have to knock myself out to do one film a year - a year's a long time to make a film. I don't make these films like, say, Steven Spielberg, where I take three years and a hundred million dollars. My films are much less ambitious. It's easy for me. I finish a film and I'm sitting around the house and have other ideas; I get them together and I write them. I don't require much money to make a film, so it's not hard for me to get funded. And I'm a good bet for an investor, because I work fast and inexpensively. And when the film is released, before you know it, the small amount that it cost, they've made back. Then once in a while, if I hit one that is popular - like Match Point (2005), which made a hundred million dollars - then everybody makes a lot of money on it. Everybody except me. [2011]
187 Editing is that moment when you give up every hope you have of making a great piece of art and you have to settle with what you have.
188 I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me; I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
189 [The French] think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses, and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
190 Making films is a very nice way to make a living. You work with beautiful women, and charming men, who are amusing and gifted; you work with art directors and costume people ... you travel places, and the money's good. It's a nice living.
191 [European backers support me when Americans won't] You'd think that after a hit like Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011) - made a lot of money, not by The Dark Knight (2008) standards, but by my standards - there would be some companies that would want to do a film with you. But I didn't get a single offer. Not one ... and then an Italian company I'd been talking to for years was willing to put up money.
192 If you're a celebrity, you can get good medical treatment. I can get a doctor on the weekends. I can get the results of my biopsy quickly.
193 [Ageing] is a bad business. It's a confirmation that the anxieties and terrors I've had all my life were accurate. There's no advantage to ageing. You don't get wiser, you don't get more mellow, you don't see life in a more glowing way. You have to fight your body decaying, and you have less options. The only thing you can do is what you did when you were 20 - because you're always walking with an abyss right under your feet; they can be hoisting a piano on Park Avenue and drop it on your head when you're 20 - which is to distract yourself. Getting involved in a movie [occupies] all my anxiety: did I write a good scene for Cate Blanchett? If I wasn't concentrated on that, I'd be thinking of larger issues. And those are unresolvable, and you're checkmated whichever way you go.
194 To have been the lead character in a juicy scandal - a really juicy scandal - that will always be a part of what people think of when they think of me. It doesn't bother me. It doesn't please me. It's a non-factor. But it's a true factor.
195 My experience has been, with one exception [Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011)], that when I do a film in a foreign country, the toughest audience for me is that country. In Italy, they said: 'This guy doesn't understand Italy.' And I can't argue with those criticisms. I'm an American, and that's how I see Barcelona or Rome or England. If the situation was reversed, and somebody from a foreign country made a film here, I might very well be saying: 'Yeah, it's OK, but this guy really doesn't get New York.' And I'd be right. And I'm sure they're right.
196 I have an idea for a story, and I think to myself, "my God, this is a combination of Eugene O'Neill, and Tennessee Williams, and Arthur Miller" ... but that's because [when you're writing] you don't have to face the test of reality. You're at home, in your house, it's all in your mind. Now, when it's almost over, and I see what I've got, I start to think: "what have I done? This is going to be such an embarrassment! Can I salvage it?" All your grandiose ideas go out the window. You realise you made a catastrophe, and you think: "what if I put the last scene first, drop this character, put in narration? What if I shoot one more scene, to make him not leave his wife, but kill his wife?" [But nine times out of ten, after the screening of the first rough cut,] the feeling is: "OK, now don't panic." The other 10% of the time, it's: "OK. That's not as bad as I thought."
197 I'm just trying to be objective and honest. If you were having a 10-film festival and showing Citizen Kane (1941) on Monday, Rashomon (1950) on Tuesday, Bicycle Thieves (1948), The Seventh Seal (1957) ... I don't think anything I've ever made could be placed in a festival with those films and hold its own.
198 There are lots of nice advantages that you get, being a celebrity. The tabloid things, the bumps in the road, they come and they go. Most people don't have as big a bump as I had, but even the big bump - it's not life-threatening. It's not like the doctor's saying: 'I looked at these x-rays of your brain, and there's this little thing growing there.' Tabloid things can be handled. I just don't want a shadow on my lung on the x-ray.
199 I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history; Charlie Chaplin (Charles Chaplin), Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
200 What you're left with, in the end, are very grisly, unpleasant facts. You can't avoid them, you can't escape them. The best you can do, as far as I see it at the moment - maybe I'll get some other insight someday - is distract. I work all the time, I plunge myself into trivial problems, problems that are not life-threatening: How I'm going to work my third act, or can I get this actress to be in the movie, or am I over budget? These are my problems that obsess me, so I don't sit home and think about the fact that the universe is flying apart at breakneck speed as we're sitting here.
201 I have a very pessimistic view of everything. Obviously, I'm not a religious person, and I don't have any respect for the religious point of view. I tolerate it, but I find it a mindless grasp of life. [It's] the same thing with the philosophers who tell you that the meaning of life consists of what meaning you give it. I don't buy that, either. It's very unsatisfying.
202 I've shown the older one, [daughter] Bechet, a number of Alfred Hitchcock movies, and I've shown them both [daughters] a couple of The Marx Brothers movies. But they're not that interested ... I try to encourage them musically and guide them cinematically, but my opinion ... I represent the Old World, the Europe from which they took boats to escape.
203 My own feeling was always [that] I was totally uninterested in what anyone thought. I loved Soon-Yi Previn and it was a serious thing, not frivolous. We've been together for years, and it's been, on a personal basis, the best years of my life, really. And certainly the best of hers - not because of my scintillating personality, but it really brought her out of herself. She really had a chance to get into the world.
204 [I'm] depressed on a low flame.
205 It isn't just psychological, when you're getting closer to death that time passes faster. I think something happens physiologically so that you experience time in a very different way ... It's also scary, as you'll see when you get older. It doesn't get better. You don't mellow, you don't gain wisdom and insight. You start to experience joint pain.
206 [on "Ozymandias melancholia," a term for the sense of inevitable decline which he first coined in Stardust Memories (1980)] It's a phenomenon that I think everybody gets afflicted with, certainly the poet [Percy Bysshe Shelley] did, but I get afflicted with it. And you feel it really very much in Rome, because you see those ancient ruins and you're hyper-aware of the fact that thousands of yeas ago, there was a civilization that was mighty, the most dominant civilization in the world, and how glorious it must have been. And now it's a couple of bricks here and a couple of bricks there, and someone's sitting on the bricks eating their sandwich.
207 For me, success is, I'm in my bedroom at home and get an idea and I think it's a great idea and then I write it, and I look at the script and I say, 'My God, I've written a good script here.' And then I execute it. And if I execute the thing properly, then I feel great. If people come, it's a delightful bonus.
208 [American financiers] don't like to work the way I like to work. They like to read the script and have some input. They want to say, 'Well, we'll let you cast who you want, but if you can get Brad Pitt, we'd much prefer you got him.' ... We don't do that, though. We don't let them see the script, or have anything to say. So I have a lot of trouble raising money in this country.
209 That, or anything I ever won, has never changed my life one iota. And the fact that Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011) made $160 million meant zero in terms of anyone - and by anyone I mean no one - stepping forward and saying, 'We'd like to bankroll your next film.'
210 [on why he always skips the Oscars] They always have it on Sunday night. And it's always - you can look this up - it's always opposite a good basketball game. And I'm a big basketball fan. So it's a great pleasure for me to come home and get into bed and watch a basketball game. And that's exactly where I was, watching the game.
211 I'm not as crazy as they [fans who meet me] think I am. They think I'm a major neurotic and that I'm phobic and incompetent and I'm not. I'm very average, middle class. I get up in the morning, I have a wife and kids, I work, I've been productive, I practice my horn, I go to ballgames, it's a normal kind of thing. I have some quirks, but everybody has some quirks.
212 [on playing his screen persona] It's effortless. It's the only thing I can do. I'm not an actor. I can't play Chekhov, I can't play Shakespeare or Strindberg. I can do that thing that I do. There's a few different kinds of things I can act credibly. I can play an intellectual or a low-life.
213 I finished writing the script [for To Rome with Love (2012)] and saw that there was a part that I could play. I never force it. I never write something for myself. I'm trying to be faithful to the idea. If I had made To Rome with Love in the United States, I could have played Roberto Benigni's part. If I was fifty years younger, I would have played Jesse Eisenberg's part. Right now, I'm reduced to fathers of fiancees.
214 Life is full of misery, loneliness and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
215 [To Stu Hample on developing the comic strip "Inside Woody Allen"] Need more character engagement - instead of jokes being free-floating, they must be jokes on the way to character development. Jokes are like the decorations on the Christmas tree - but it's a beautiful tree you need to start with. Only then can you hang baubles on it. (Sorry for the disgusting metaphor.)
216 [Directing']s a great loafer's job. Much less stressful than if I were running around delivering chicken sandwiches in a deli somewhere.
217 My sets are boring. Nothing exciting ever happens, and I barely talk to the actors.
218 [on Anything Else (2003)] The cast is wonderful and I thought it was an interesting story and full of good jokes and good ideas. Somebody said it summed up everything that I always say in movies - they were saying this positively - and maybe it did and that was a negative for me. I don't know. I had screening of it and people seemed to love it. Again, it was one of those pictures that nobody came to. You know, a lot of it is the luck of the draw with someone like me. I'm review-dependent. You hit a guy who likes the film and writes a good review of it, it might possibly do business. The exact same film, if that reviewer's sick that day and the other critic on the paper doesn't like it, then it doesn't do business. There are many, many people making films who are not review-dependent and it doesn't matter what anybody says about them, they have an audience. I only have to mention Spider-Man (2002). With me, it depends who's writing the review. But I did think Anything Else was a funny movie. I thought it was a good movie. I was crazy about Christina [Ricci], and Jason [Biggs] was adorable and Stockard Channing is always a really strong actress.
219 [on Shadows and Fog (1991)] I think I did a good job directing it and Santo Loquasto's sets are beautiful. But the picture is in the writing and people weren't interested in the story. You know when you're doing a black-and-white picture that takes place in a European city at night in the twenties, you're not going to make big bucks. Nobody liked the picture. Carlo Di Palma won an award for it in Italy. It just looked great. There was pleasure in the way it was photographed, and in making it. I make these films to amuse myself, or should I say to distract myself. I wanted to see what it would be like making a film all on a set, outdoors being indoors. And setting it during one night and having all these characters and this old European quality to it. The hope is that others will enjoy it when I'm finished. It fulfilled that desire that keeps me working, that keeps me in the film business. I do all my films for my own personal reasons, and I hope that people will like them and I'm always gratified when I hear they do. But if they don't, there's nothing I can do about that because I don't set out to make them for approval - I like approval, but I don't make them for approval.
220 [on Stardust Memories (1980)] I wanted to make a stylish film. Gordon Willis and I liked to work in black and white and I wanted to make a picture about an artist who theoretically should be happy. He has everything in the world - health, success, wealth, notoriety - but in fact he doesn't have anything, he's very unhappy. The point of the story is that he can't get used to the fact that he's mortal and that all his wealth and fame and adulation are not going to preserve him in any meaningful way - he, too, will age and die. At the beginning of the movie you see him wanting to make a serious statement even though he is really a comic filmmaker. Of course, this part is naturally identified with me even though the tale is total fabrication. I never had the feelings of the protagonist in real life. When I made Stardust Memories I didn't feel I was a much adored filmmaker whose life was miserable and all around me things were terrible. I thought I was a respectable moviemaker and the perks of success - as I said in my film Celebrity (1998) - actually outweighed the downside. I was never blocked, conflicted much, or steeped in gloom - though I often played that character. I did it again later in Deconstructing Harry (1997). That character is also a writer but nothing like me. I wanted to make Stardust Memoies stylish. It's a dream film; the attempt is poetic. I'm not saying it comes off but the intent is poetic, so you're not locked in to a realistic story. You could certainly tell a realistic story about a guy who has everything and is unhappy but I was trying to do it on a more fantastic level. I feel if you give the film a chance, there are some rewards in it. It's dense. I haven't seen it in many years, but when I finished it I was very satisfied with it and it was my favorite film to that time.
221 I've always felt close to a European sensibility. It's a happy accident: when I was a young man and most impressionable, all these great European films were flooding New York City. I was very influenced by those films. I comes out in my work without trying to. It's like if you grow up hearing Mozart your whole life at home and you start to write music, probably what comes out - until you develop your own style - is an imitation of Mozart, to some degree. And that's what happened with me and films. I've very often relied on European cinema as a crutch or as a guide. The films I grew up with - Bergman and Fellini and Kurosawa and De Sica and Antonioni - just left an indelible mark on me. It's the same with certain American films that impressed me as a young boy, like The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948) and Citizen Kane (1941) and Double Indemnity (1944). There have been very few American films since that have equalled the impact those films had on me, because I do think the time you see them figures into it. Consequently my films have been well appreciated in Europe, more than the United States, where it's been so-so.
222 Not only does my play have no redeeming social value, it has no entertainment value. I wrote this sprightly little one-acter only to test out my new paper shredder. If there is any positive message at all in the narrative, it is that life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
223 I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
224 My films have developed over the years. They've gone from films that started out as strips of jokes and funny gags to more character-oriented things - slightly deeper stories where I've sacrificed some laughs. And sometimes I've tried to make serious pictures without any laughs at all. You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010) is probably a film I wouldn't have been able to make 20 years ago, because I feel I wouldn't have had the depth to make it. I'm forever pessimistic about everything in life, except my work. I feel that my best work is still to come, and I keep working and trying. It may be foolish and misplaced optimism, but nevertheless I'm optimistic. I feel I've always progressed. I've always made the film I wanted to make that year, and the films I made later were better than the ones I made earlier. Manhattan (1979) and Annie Hall (1977) were quite popular, but they were not as good as, say, Match Point (2005), which was a better film than both of those films. Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011) I think will be seen as a better film. Viki, Kristina, Barselona (2008) is a better film than those I made years ago. But it's capricious. I get an idea for a film and I do it, and if I'm right in my judgment, and in execution, then the film turns out to be a good film, a step forward. If I guessed wrong and I thought the idea was wonderful and it's really not, or I execute badly, then the film is not such a good film. But it doesn't have anything to do with the chronology. [2011]
225 [on the controversy surrounding his marriage to Soon-Yi] What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now. There was no scandal, but people refer to it all the time as a scandal. I kind of like that in a way because when I go I would like to say I had one juicy scandal in my life.
226 If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
227 Well, I'm against [the aging process]. I think it has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again. I've experienced that thing where you wake up in the middle of the night and you start to think about your own mortality and envision it, and it gives you a little shiver. That's what happens to Anthony Hopkins at the beginning of [You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010)], and from then on in, he did not want to hear from his more realistic wife, "Oh, you can't keep doing that - you're not young anymore." Yes, she's right, but nobody wants to hear that.
228 To me, there's no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They're all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.
229 [on why he chose in 2010 to read his short stories for Adiobook]: I was persuaded in a moment of apathy when I was convinced I had a fatal illness and would not live much longer. I don't own a computer, have no idea how to work one, don't own a word processor, and have zero interest in technology. Many people thought it would be a nice idea for me to read my stories, and I gave in.
230 I can only hope that reading out loud does not contribute to the demise of literature, which I don't think will ever happen. When I grew up, one could always hear T.S. Eliot, William Butler Yeats, S.J. Perelman and a host of others read on the Caedmon label, and it was its own little treat that in no way encroached on the pleasure of reading these people.
231 Sarah Palin is a colourful spice in the general recipe of democracy. She's a sexy woman. Yes. Me and Sarah - we could do a romance.
232 Like Boris [from Whatever Works (2009)] I fight it all the time. I've always been lucky: I've never experienced depression. I get sad and blue, but within a certain limit. I've always been able to work freely, to play my clarinet and enjoy women and sport - although I am always aware of the fact that I am operating within a nightmarish context that life itself is a cruel, meaningless, terrible kind of thing. God forbid the people who have bad luck, or even neutral luck, because even the luckiest, the most beautiful and brilliant, what have they got? A minuscule, meaningless life span in the grand scheme of things.
233 [on his character Mickey's personal crisis in Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)]: I think it should be interpreted to mean that there are these oases, and life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.... I feel that one can come up with all these rationalizations and seemingly astute observations, but I think I said it well at the end of Deconstructing Harry (1997): we all know the same truth; our lives consist of how we choose to distort it, and that's it. Everybody knows how awful the world is and what a terrible situation it is and each person distorts it in a certain way that enables him to get through. Some people distort it with religious things. Some people distort it with sports, with money, with love, with art, and they all have their own nonsense about what makes it meaningful, and all but nothing makes it meaningful. These things definitely serve a certain function, but in the end they all fail to give life meaning and everyone goes to his grave in a meaningless way.
234 I feel that is true-that one can commit a crime, do unspeakable things, and get away with it. There are people who commit all sorts of crimes and get away with it, and some of them are plagued with all sorts of guilt for the rest of their lives and others aren't. They commit terrible crimes and they have wonderful lives, wonderful, happy lives, with families and children, and they have done unspeakably terrible things. There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.... Some people cope better than others. I was with Billy Graham once, and he said that even if it turned out in the end that there is no God and the universe is empty, he would still have had a better life than me. I understand that. If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life.
235 I didn't see Shane (1953) as a martyred figure, a persecuted figure. I saw him as quite a heroic figure who does a job that needs to be done, a practical matter. I saw him as a practical secular character. In this world there are just some people who need killing and that is just the way it is. It sounds terrible, but there is no other way to get around that, and most of us are not up to doing it, incapable for moral reasons or physically not up to it. And Shane (1953) is a person who saw what had to be done and went out and did it. He had the skill to do it, and that's the way I feel about the world: there are certain problems that can only be dealt with that way. As ugly a truth as that is, I do think it's the truth about the world.
236 [the existence of God, life after death, the meaning of life] were always obsessions of mine, even as a very young child. These were things that interested me as the years went on. My friends were more preoccupied with social issues-issues such as abortion, racial discrimination, and Communism-and those issues just never caught my interest. Of course they mattered to me as a citizen to some degree...but they never really caught my attention artistically. I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues-that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs. There was a difference, of course, but it was a minor difference as to who the president was and what the issues were. They seemed major, but as you step back with perspective they were more alike than they were different. The deeper issues always interested me.
237 I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly. I was just doing what I was doing because it interested me, and in fact obsessed me. I was not doing it with an eye to manipulate the public. In fact, I probably would have had a larger public if I had gone in a different direction.
238 You want some kind of relief from the agony and terror of human existence. Human existence is a brutal experience to me...it's a brutal, meaningless experience-an agonizing, meaningless experience with some oases, delight, some charm and peace, but these are just small oases. Overall, it is a brutal, brutal, terrible experience, and so it's what can you do to alleviate the agony of the human condition, the human predicament? That is what interests me the most. I continue to make the films because the problem obsesses me all the time and it's consistently on my mind and I'm consistently trying to alleviate the problem, and I think by making films as frequently as I do I get a chance to vent the problems. There is some relief. I have said this before in a facetious way, but it is not so facetious: I am a whiner. I do get a certain amount of solace from whining.
239 I think what I'm saying is that I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and that the only thing I can do is my little gift and do it the best I can, and that is about the best I can do, which is cold comfort.
240 Whenever they ask women what they find appealing in men, a sense of humor is always one of the things they mention. Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them. So I'm saying to that character played by Goldie Hawn, "Why is that so important?" But it is important apparently because women have said to us that that is very, very important to them. I also feel that humor, just like Fred Astaire dance numbers or these lightweight musicals give you a little oasis. You are in this horrible world and for an hour and a half you duck into a dark room and it's air-conditioned and the sun is not blinding you and you leave the terror of the universe behind and you are completely transported into an escapist situation. The women are beautiful, the men are witty and heroic, nobody has terrible problems and this is a delightful escapist thing, and you leave the theatre refreshed. It's like drinking a cool lemonade and then after a while you get worn down again and you need it again. It seems to me that making escapist films might be a better service to people than making intellectual ones and making films that deal with issues. It might be better to just make escapist comedies that don't touch on any issues. The people just get a cool lemonade, and then they go out refreshed, they enjoy themselves, they forget how awful things are and it helps them-it strengthens them to get through the day. So I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
241 [on Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)] Everything wonderful about that movie... is because of the way it was directed. Otherwise, I thought there were flaws in the writing of the movie and flaws in some of the performances of the movie. But the directing of the movie was so bravura and so superb, that it was just a knockout.
242 The biggest personal shock to me of all the movies that I've done is that Hollywood Ending (2002) was not thought of as a first-rate, extraordinary comedy. I was stunned that it met with any resistance at all. I thought it was a very, very funny idea and I thought that I executed it absolutely fine, and that I was funny and that Téa Leoni was great. I thought it was a simple, funny idea that worked. I didn't think I blew it anywhere along the line - in performance, in shooting it, in the jokes, situations. When I showed it to the first couple of people, film writers, they said, "This is just great. This is one of the funniest movies you've done." But that's not what the subsequent reactions were. And I was so shocked. I generally don't love my own finished product but this one I did. I don't think many people would, but I would put it toward the top of my comedies. The audience didn't show up. I think if people had gone to see it they would have enjoyed it. But they didn't go to see it.
243 [on Ingmar Bergman] He and I had dinner in his New York hotel suite; it was a great treat for me. I was nervous and really didn't want to go. But he was not at all what you might expect: the formidable, dark, brooding genius. He was a regular guy. He commiserated with me about low box-office grosses and women and having to put up with studios. The world saw him as a genius, and he was worrying about the weekend grosses. Yet he was plain and colloquial in speech, not full of profound pronunciamentos about life. Sven Nykvist told me that when they were doing all those scenes about death and dying, they'd be cracking jokes and gossiping about the actors' sex lives. I liked his attitude that a film is not an event you make a big deal out of. He felt filmmaking was just a group of people working. I copied some of that from him. At times he made two and three films in a year. He worked very fast; he'd shoot seven or eight pages of script at a time. They didn't have the money to do anything else. I think his films have eternal relevance, because they deal with the difficulty of personal relationships and lack of communication between people and religious aspirations and mortality, existential themes that will be relevant a thousand years from now. When many of the things that are successful and trendy today will have been long relegated to musty-looking antiques, his stuff will still be great.
244 [on Michelangelo Antonioni] I knew him slightly and spent some time with him. He was thin as a wire and athletic and energetic and mentally alert. And he was a wonderful ping-pong player. I played with him; he always won because he had a great reach. That was his game.
245 [on Shelley Duvall] She's a true one of a kind. She's so effective on the screen, that if she's cast properly, she's incapable of being anything else but fascinating.
246 Retire and do what? I'd be doing the same thing as I do now: sitting at home writing a play, then characters, jokes and situations would come to me. So I don't know what else I would do with my time.
247 If they said to me tomorrow, "We're pulling the plug and we're not giving you any more money to make films," that would not bother me in the slightest. I mean, I'm happy to write for the theatre. And if they wouldn't back any of my plays, I'm happy to sit home and write prose. But as long as there are people willing to put up the vast sums of money needed to make films, I should take advantage of it. Because there will come a time when they won't.
248 I've never, ever in my life had any interference. I've always had final cut, no-one saw scripts, no-one saw casting. So since Take the Money and Run (1969), I've been spoiled. But recently, at about the time of Match Point (2005), the studios began to behave differently. They started to say, "Look, we like to make films with you and we'll give you the money, but we don't want to be treated as if we're just a bank, putting money in a bag and then just going away. You'll still have final cut and all of that, but we would like to see a script, know who you're casting and be involved in some way." I feel that this is a completely reasonable request, but I just wasn't used to working that way, so I went over to Europe. There's no studio system, so they don't care about any of that stuff. They're bankers. And they're happy to be bankers. They put up the money, you give them the film, and that's what they care about. That worked very well for me on Match Point (2005). So I did it again with Scoop (2006) and Cassandra's Dream (2007). And I made Viki, Kristina, Barselona (2008) in Spain under the same circumstances.
249 I'm kind of, secretly, in the back of my mind, counting on living a long time. My father lived to a hundred. My mother lived to 95, almost 96. If there is anything to heredity, I should be able to make films for another 17 years. You never know. A piano could drop on my head. (December 2005)
250 [on his least favorite of his own films, Manhattan (1979)] I hated that one. I even made Stardust Memories (1980) for United Artists just so Manhattan would stay on the shelf. And even after those efforts, I still can't believe even to this day how it became so commercially successful. I can't believe I got away with it.
251 [on Match Point (2005)] To me, it is strictly about luck. Life is such a terrifying experience - it's very important to feel, "I don't believe in luck, Well, I make my luck." Well, the truth of the matter is, you don't make your luck. So I wanted to show that here was a guy - and I symbolically made him a tennis player - who's a pretty bad guy, and yet my feeling is, in life, if you get the breaks - if the luck bounces your way, you know - you can not only get by, you can flourish in the same way that I felt Marty Landau could in Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989). If you can kill somebody - if you have no moral sense - there's no God out there that's suddenly going to hit you with lightning. Because I don't believe in God. So this is what was on my mind: the enormous unfairness of the world, the enormous injustice of the world, the sense that every day people get away with the worst kinds of crimes. So it's a pessimistic film, in that sense.
252 I've been around a long time, and some people may just get tired of me, which I can understand. I've tried to keep my films different over the years, but it's like they complain, "We've eaten Chinese food every day this week." I want to say, "Well, yes, but you had a shrimp meal and you had a pork meal and you had a chicken meal." They say, "Yes, yes, but it's all Chinese food." That's the way I feel about myself. I have a certain amount of obsessive themes and a certain amount of things I'm interested in and no matter how different the film is, whether it's Small Time Crooks (2000) here or Zelig (1983) there, you find in the end that it's Chinese food. If you're not in the mood for my obsessions, then you may not be in the mood for my film. Now, hopefully, if I make enough films, some of them will come out fresh, but there's no guarantee. It's a crapshoot every time I make one. It could come out interesting or you might get the feeling that, God, I've heard this kvetch before - I don't know.
253 If I write a film and there is a part in it for me - great. But if I sit down in advance and think, "I'd like to be in this film," or "It's been a long time since I've been in a film so it would be fun to do one," then all of a sudden there's an enormous amount of limits and compromise. I can only play a few things so that compromises the idea instantly. I think Deconstructing Harry (1997) would have been better with Dustin Hoffman or Robert De Niro, for sure. I also tried very hard to get another actor to play the part I did in The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001). I think we tried to see if Tom Hanks was available, and Nicholson. Either they weren't available or didn't want to do it. So I finally played that part. And I shouldn't have, because it wasn't my usual kind of role, and I think that hurt the film.
254 I've never felt that if I waited five years between films, I'd make better ones. I just make one when I feel like making it. And it comes out to be about one a year. Some of them come out good, and some of them come out less than good. Some of them may be very good and some may be very bad. But I have no interest in an overall plan for them or anything.
255 [on 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)] It was one of the few times in my life that I realized that the artist was so much ahead of me.
256 I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
257 I never had a teacher who made the least impression on me and if you ask who are my heroes, the answer is simple and truthful: George S. Kaufman and the Marx Brothers.
258 It would be a disgrace and a humiliation if Barack Obama does not win... It would be a terrible thing if the American public was not moved to vote for him, that they actually preferred more of the same.
259 [on directing an opera] He [Plácido Domingo] said, "What if we do the Puccini trilogy - it's three one-acts that are always done together? The first two, Billy Friedkin will direct. You'll only be responsible for a one-act, a one-hour opera, and it's funny." You know, funny to opera people is not funny to the Marx Brothers.
260 [on directing the LA Opera, alongside William Friedkin] I figured, "Eh, I'll be dead before it happens. I'm 72. I'm never going to make it to the opera." But it came around, and next Monday, I start rehearsal. I'll just do the best I can and then get out of town and let them tar and feather Friedkin.
261 Ireland's one of the few places that lives up to the hype, that is as beautiful as everyone tells you it is.
262 I've made perfectly decent films, but not 8½ (1963), not The Seventh Seal (1957) ("The Seventh Seal"), The 400 Blows (1959) ("The 400 Blows") or L'Avventura (1960) - ones that to me really proclaim cinema as art, on the highest level. If I was the teacher, I'd give myself a B.
263 I once thought there was a good argument between whether it's worth it to make a film where you confront the human condition, or an escape film. You could argue that the Fred Astaire film is performing a greater service than the Bergman film, because Ingmar Bergman is dealing with a problem that you're never going to solve. Whereas 'Fred Astaire', you walk in off the street, and for an hour and half they're popping champagne corks and making light banter and you get refreshed, like a lemonade.
264 Your perception of time changes as you get older, because you see how brief everything is. You see how meaningless ... I don't want to depress you, but it's a meaningless little flicker.
265 I was never bothered if a film was not well received. But the converse of that is that I never get a lot of pleasure out of it if it is. So it isn't like you can say, 'He's an uncompromising artist.' That's not true. I'm a compromising person, definitely. It's that I don't get much from either side.
266 I can't really come up with a good argument to choose life over death. Except that I'm too scared.
267 My mother always said I was a very cheerful kid until I was 5 years old, and then I turned gloomy.
268 [Movies are a great diversion] because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
269 I do feel that in everyday life people on a great spectrum get away with crime all the time, ranging from genocide to just street crime. Most crimes do go unsolved, and people commit murders and ruin other people and do the worst things in the world, and, you know, there's no one to penalize you if you don't have a sense of conscience about it. There is an element in life of enormous, enormous injustice that we live with all the time. It's just an ugly-but-true fact of life.
270 [Responding to fans, skeptical of his plan to direct an opera] I have no idea what I am doing. But incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
271 Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
272 80% of success is showing up.
273 I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
274 I wasn't away. And I'm not back. Match Point (2005) was a film about luck, and it was a very lucky film for me. I did it the way I do all my pictures, and it just worked. I needed a rainy day, I got a rainy day. I needed sun, I got sun. Kate Winslet dropped out at the last moment because she wanted to be with her family, and Scarlett Johansson was available on two days' notice. It's like I couldn't ruin this picture no matter how hard I tried.
275 I never wanted movies to be an end. I wanted them to be a means so that I could have a decent life -- meet attractive women, go out on dates, live decently. Not opulently, but with some security. I feel the same way now. A guy like Steven Spielberg will go live in the desert to make a movie, or Martin Scorsese will make a picture in India and set up camp and live there for four months. I mean, for me, if I'm not shooting in my neighborhood, it's annoying. I have no commitment to my work in that sense. No dedication.
276 Stanley Kubrick was a great artist. I say this all the time and people think I'm being facetious. I'm not. Kubrick was a guy who obsessed over details and did 100 takes, and you know, I don't feel that way. If I'm shooting a film and it's 6 o'clock at night and I've got a take, and I think I might be able to get a better take if I stayed, but the Knicks tipoff is at 7:30, then that's it. The crews love working on my movies because they know they'll be home by 6.
277 For me, being famous didn't help me that much. It helped a little. Warren Beatty once said to me many years ago, being a star is like being in a whorehouse with a credit card, and I never found that. For me, it was like being in a whorehouse with a credit card that had expired.
278 I was thrown out of NYU [New York University] for cheating on my Metaphysics final. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
279 I'm a practicing heterosexual, although bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
280 It's true I had a lot of anxiety. I was afraid of the dark and suspicious of the light.
281 Organized crime in America takes in over $40 billion a year and spends very little on office supplies.
282 I don't believe in an afterlife, although I'm bringing along a change of underwear.
283 My brain: It's my second favorite organ.
284 Life is for the living.
285 Most of life is tragic. You're born, you don't know why. You're here, you don't know why. You go, you die. Your family dies. Your friends die. People suffer. People live in constant terror. The world is full of poverty and corruption and war and Nazis and tsunamis. The net result, the final count is, you lose - you don't beat the house.
286 Man was made in God's image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?
287 I always think it is a mistake to try and be young, because I feel the young people in the United States have not distinguished themselves. The young audience in the United States have not proven to me that they like good movies or good theatre. The films that are made for young people are not wonderful films, they are not thoughtful. They are these blockbusters with special effects. The comedies are dumb, full of toilet jokes, not sophisticated at all. And these are the things the young people embrace. I do not idolize the young.
288 With my complexion I don't tan, I stroke.
289 [on shooting in London, 2004] In the United States things have changed a lot, and it's hard to make good small films now. There was a time in the 1950s when I wanted to be a playwright, because until that time movies, which mostly came out of Hollywood, were stupid and not interesting. Then we started to get wonderful European films, and American films started to grow up a little bit, and the industry became more fun to work in than the theatre. I loved it. But now it's taken a turn in the other direction and studios are back in command and are not that interested in pictures that make only a little bit of money. When I was younger, every week we'd get a Federico Fellini or an Ingmar Bergman or a Jean-Luc Godard or François Truffaut, but now you almost never get any of that. Filmmakers like myself have a hard time. The avaricious studios couldn't care less about good films - if they get a good film they're twice as happy, but money-making films are their goal. They only want these $100-million pictures that make $500 million. That's why I'm happy to work in London, because I'm right back in the same kind of liberal creative attitude that I'm used to.
290 When I was in my early twenties, I knew a man who has since died, who was older than me and also very crazy. He'd been in a straitjacket and institutionalized, and I found him very brilliant. When I would speak to him about writing, about life, art, women, he was very, very cogent
  • but he couldn't lead his own life, he just couldn't manage.
291 I know it sounds horrible, but winning that Oscar for Annie Hall (1977) didn't mean anything to me.
292 I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
293 [on the Academy Awards circa 1978] They're political and bought and negotiated for - although many worthy people have deservedly won - and the whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.
294 Of course, I would love everybody to see my films. But I don't care enough ever to do anything about it. I would never change a word or make a movie that I thought they would like. I really don't care if they come or not. If they don't want to come, then they don't; if they do come, then great. Do I want to do what I do uncompromisingly, and would I love it if a big audience came? Yes, that would be very nice. I've never done anything to attract an audience, though I always get accused of it over the years.
295 The sensibility of the film-maker infuses the project so people see a picture like Annie Hall (1977) and everyone thinks it's so autobiographical. But I was not from Coney Island, I was not born under a Ferris wheel, my father never worked at a place that had bumper cars, that's not how I met Diane Keaton, and that's not how we broke up. Of course, there's that character who's always beleaguered and harassed. Certain things are autobiographical, certain feelings, even occasionally an incident, but overwhelmingly they're totally made up, completely fabricated.
296 I can bring stars, I've worked with terrific cameramen, but people still have a better chance of making their $150m films because they're not interested in the kind of profits I can bring if I'm profitable.
297 The biggest flaw in being self-taught is there are gaps. You self-teach yourself something and you think you know something fairly well, but then there are gaps a university teacher would have taught you as part of a mandatory program. I would probably have been better off if I'd got a better general education, but I was just so bored.
298 I was just a poor student. I had no interest in it. When I make a film the tacit contract with the audience is that I will give them some entertainment and not bore them. I have to do that. I just lay a message on them. Great filmmakers, like Ingmar Bergman or Akira Kurosawa or Federico Fellini, they're very entertaining, their films are fun. Well, in college they never made it entertaining for me, they just bored me stiff.
299 When I was a kid, movies from Hollywood seemed very glamorous, but when you look back at them as a young man, you can see out of the thousands of films that came out of Hollywood there were really very few good ones statistically, and those few that were good were made in spite of the studios. I saw European films as a young man and they were very much better. There's no comparison.
300 I had a line in one of my movies - 'Everyone knows the same truth.' Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it. One person will distort it with a kind of wishful thinking like religion, someone else will distort it by thinking political solutions are going to do something, someone else will think a life of sensuality is going to do it, someone else will think art transcends. Art for me has always been the Catholicism of the intellectuals. There is no afterlife for the Catholics really, and there's no afterlife for the arts. 'Your painting lived on after you' - well, that doesn't really do it. That's not what you want. Even if your painting does have some longevity, eventually that's going to go. There won't be any works of William Shakespeare or Ludwig van Beethoven, or any theatre to see them in, or air or light. I've always felt you've got to live your life within the context of this worst-case scenario. Which is true; the worst-case scenario is here.
301 Hollywood for the most part aimed at the lowest common denominator. It's conceived in venality, it's motivated by pandering to the public, by making a lot of money. People like Ingmar Bergman thought about life, and they had feelings, and they wanted to dramatize them and engage one in a dialogue. I felt I couldn't easily be engaged by the nonsense that came out of Hollywood.
302 The directors that have personal, emotional feelings for me are Ingmar Bergman and Federico Fellini, and I'm sure there has been some influence but never a direct one. I never set out to try and do anything like them. But, you know, when you listen to a jazz musician like Charlie Parker for years and you love it, then you start to play an instrument, you automatically play like that at first, then you branch off with your own things. The influence is there, it's in your blood.
303 There was no ripple professionally for me at all when I was in the papers with my custody stuff. I made my films, I worked in the streets of New York, I played jazz every Monday night, I put a play on. Everything professionally went just the same. There were no repercussions. There was white-hot interest for a while, like with all things like that, and then it became uninteresting to people.
304 [on being nominated for an Oscar for Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)] You have to be sure to keep it very much in perspective. You think it's nice at the time because it means more money for your film, but as soon as you let yourself start thinking that way, something happens to the quality of the work.
305 [on the Academy Awards circa 1978] I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things -- or who doesn't win them -- you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
306 [About the audience] I never write down to them. I always assume that they're all as smart as I am . . . if not smarter.
307 [on why he never watches his own movies] I think I would hate them.
308 My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
309 Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
310 If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
311 To you, I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
312 If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
313 Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
314 Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill 'em.
315 The two biggest myths about me are that I'm an intellectual, because I wear these glasses, and that I'm an artist because my films lose money. Those two myths have been prevalent for many years.
316 My relationship with Hollywood isn't love-hate, it's love-contempt. I've never had to suffer any of the indignities that one associates with the studio system. I've always been independent in New York by sheer good luck. But I have an affection for Hollywood because I've had so much pleasure from films that have come out of there. Not a whole lot of them, but a certain amount of them have been very meaningful to me.
317 For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
318 If my film makes one more person miserable, I'll feel I've done my job.
319 [at the Academy Awards in 2002, explaining why he was the one introducing a montage of New York movies] And I said, 'You know, God, you can do much better than me. You know, you might want to get Martin Scorsese, or, or Mike Nichols, or Spike Lee, or Sidney Lumet...' I kept naming names, you know, and um, I said, 'Look, I've given you 15 names of guys who are more talented than I am, and, and smarter and classier...' And they said, 'Yes, but they weren't available.'
320 Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
321 I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.
322 Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
323 There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
324 Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
325 [on films] I can't imagine that the business should be run any other way than that the director has complete control of his films. My situation may be unique, but that doesn't speak well for the business -- it shouldn't be unique, because the director is the one who has the vision and he's the one who should put that vision onto film.
326 [when asked if he liked the idea of living on on the silver screen] I'd rather live on in my apartment.
327 On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
328 [in 1977] This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
329 I'm not afraid of dying... I just don't want to be there when it happens.
330 I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.

#Trademark
1 Reddish hair
2 Short stature
3 His unchanging nebbish persona
4 Often bases films on his own life experiences
5 Stumbling and nervous delivery
6 Brooklyn Accent
7 References to classic films, particularly the works of Ingmar Bergman
8 References to famous writers and literary classics
9 His female characters are often free spirited but naive and often come from small town backgrounds
10 His films often include opening Narration or the protagonist talking directly to the audience
11 Billing his actors alphabetically on opening credits
12 From Sleeper (1973) until Cassandra's Dream (2007), almost never has his movies scored, preferring to use selections from his vast personal record collection.
13 From Stardust Memories (1980) through Melinda and Melinda (2004), frequently and almost exclusively employs Dick Hyman to contribute musical arrangements, incidental music, and piano accompaniment.
14 His thick black glasses, the same type since the 1960s
15 His characters (that he plays himself) are often a semi-famous, semi-successful film/tv writer, director, or producer... or a novelist
16 His films are almost all set in New York City
17 Films his dialog using long, medium-range shots instead of the typical intercut close-ups
18 Nearly all of his films start and end with white-on-black credits, set in the Windsor typeface, set to jazz music, without any scrolling.
19 A lot of his movies feature at least one character who is a writer. This is often Woody himself.
20 Frequently casts himself, Diane Keaton, Mia Farrow and Judy Davis
21 Frequently plays a neurotic New Yorker
22 Reddish hair
23 Short stature
24 His unchanging nebbish persona
25 Often bases films on his own life experiences
26 Stumbling and nervous delivery
27 Brooklyn Accent
28 References to classic Films, particularly the works of Ingmar Bergman
29 References to famous writers and literary classics
30 His female characters are often free spirited but naive and often come from small town backgrounds
31 His films often include opening Narration or the protagonist talking directly to the audience
32 Billing his actors alphabetically on opening credits
33 From Sleeper (1973) until Cassandra's Dream (2007), almost never has his movies scored, preferring to use selections from his vast personal record collection.
34 From Stardust Memories (1980) through Melinda and Melinda (2004), frequently and almost exclusively employs Dick Hyman to contribute musical arrangements, incidental music, and piano accompaniment.
35 His thick black glasses, the same type since the 1960s
36 His characters (that he plays himself) are often a semi-famous, semi-successful film/tv writer, director, or producer... or a novelist
37 His films are almost all set in New York City
38 Films his dialog using long, medium-range shots instead of the typical intercut close-ups
39 Nearly all of his films start and end with white-on-black credits, set in the Windsor typeface, set to jazz music, without any scrolling.
40 A lot of his movies feature at least one character who is a writer. This is often Woody himself.
41 Frequently casts himself, Diane Keaton, Mia Farrow and Judy Davis
42 Frequently plays a neurotic New Yorker

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